||For us, it's still Post Time
||"Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 of the 145 previous Kentucky Derby winners, from 1875 to 2019, and name the foal to humorously reflect the parents' names.
||"Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names.
||Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest
||Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names.
||The Loser Community gets a week off (actually two) from writing contest entries and will have to find something else to do during staff meetings, sermons, romantic breakups, etc.
||Just drop it, okay?
||Drop the last letter from an existing word, phrase or name and define the result.
||Derby or not Derby
||"Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names.
||Talk undirty to us
||Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning.
||It's mating season
||"Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names.
||Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.
||Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it.
||Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote.
||Ripped Off From the Headlines
||Send us some Onion-type headlines.
||The 1K Club
||Supply a chain of 20 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "Chris Doyle."
||Doctrine in The House?
||State a humorous, original "doctrine" for a person or other entity.
||H H |
||The Back End of a Bulwer
||Give us a comically terrible ending of a novel.
||The Shill Game
||Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company.
||Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word.
||H W |
||What Would YOU Do?
||Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words.
||It's Post Time
||Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined.
||H H H |
||Of D.C. I Sing
||Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune.
||Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid.
||H H H |
||Comeback Next Week
||Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments.
||1 H |
||Fun for the Roses
||Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces.
||H H |
||Your Cynic Duties
||Come up with a saying that sounds as if it's going to be inspirational, but winds up being cynical, misanthropic or sad.
||H H |
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Mate any two of the horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown and tell us the name of their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.
||H H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]