PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ELIZABETH MOLYE
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Haven't read it -- mis-subtitle a book
||Choose any book title listed on Amazon and misinterpret it by adding a subtitle.
||A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place
||Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit.
||Stick it to us with a magnet
||Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet.
||Name a dubious charity and describe its mission.
||For Real Folks
||Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife.
||Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos.
||DQ Very Much
||Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere).
||Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage.
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 640 through Week 688. Every entry must include the word "three" or "third" or a creative variation.
||Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion.
||Worth at Least a Dozen Words
||Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption.
||Dreck of All Trades
||Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it.
||Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement.
||Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]