PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR FORREST L. MILLER
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
- A: "Abuse": any less-than-honorable mention of a name by the Czar or Empress; has been awarded only 66 times.
||Create an original chiasmus, an ancient literary form in which meaning is derived by pairing two words or phrases, and then reversing their order.
||HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE
||Create new word by combining the first half of a hyphenated word with the second half of a hyphenated word. Both words must appear in the same story anywhere in today's Washington Post. Each entry must provide a definition for the newly created word.
||INVITATION TO A DUAL, II.
||Deliver us a Good News-Bad News scenario.
||SCAM ON WRY
||Come up with a prank you can play, for fun, profit, or deliverance of a well-needed comeuppance.
||LIGHT AT THE END?
||Tell the federal government what it should do with the 14-mile-long, 15-foot-diameter sausage-shaped tunnel it dug near Waxahachie, Tex., for the Superconducting Super Collider project that was scrapped by Congress last week.
||INSPECT A GADGET
||What do these machines do?
||INVITATION TO A DUAL
||Divide the world into two types of people.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Those are the answers. What are the questions?
||A A |
||A SO-SO CONTEST
||Describe somebody--or something--through exaggerated comparison.
||REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM
||Come up with an easy way to reduce the federal deficit, in 20 words or fewer.
||ANAGRAMS = A MAN'S RAG
||Come up with a funny anagram for the name of a famous person or institution. All letters in the name must be used, and no letters may be left over.
||H H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]