PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JOHN MCCOOEY

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1282 Picture This Write a caption for one or more of the provided pictures. H
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. H
1276 What 4? A limerick contest Use a limerick using one of the provided lines as Line 5. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. H
1267 Jingle bungle Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle. H W
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1253 Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.)  Coin a three­word phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. H
1232 Picture this -- a caption contest Write a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. 2
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H
1210 Send us the bill: Our 'joint legislation' game Combine two or more names from the provided list of members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1209 Invented facts: A fictoid contest Tell us a humorously untrue account of how a product or invention came to be, or got its name. H
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. 4 H
1198 Give it to us straight Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication dated Oct. 20 to Oct. 31 — or from an online article dated within that period — and translate it into “plain English,” H
1196 Hyphen the Terrible Combine either half of a hyphenated word or compound term with either half of another such term to create a new hyphenated term, and describe the result humorously. H
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle 2
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. 3
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. H
1128 Drone for a loop Give us some novel uses for a CICADA micro-drone, assuming that anyone can get one, and that it can have a micro-camera, micro-grips, etc. H
1123 The Tile Invitational III Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets. H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. W
1104 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- — see the links at bit.ly/abbrevs-e-h — and say how they are alike or different. H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. H
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1053 Questionable journalism Quote an actual sentence, from The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com, or another print or online publication dated between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6, and follow it with a question that the sentence might answer. H
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. H
1035 The Empy 500 Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. H
979 The madding crowd Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off. H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H
947 Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it. H H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. H H
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. 3
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H
910 Your ad here Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it. H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H
903 Bill us now Combine the names of two or more members of Congress as co-sponsors of a bill. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]