PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR LARRY MCCLEMONS
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Back end of a Bulwer
||Write a humorously awful final sentence or two to an imaginary novel.
||Explain humorously how any two or more of the provided items are alike, different or otherwise connected.
||Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview
||Name some humorous event to happen in 2019.
||The Year in Redo, Part 2
||Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1282 through Week 1306.
||Hits and Googles
||Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits.
||The hex files: creative curses
||Come up with a creative curse.
||Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries.
||Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle.
||What lies (are) ahead for 2018
||Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018.
||Thanking outside the box
||Tell us something to be thankful for.
||Ask Backwards 36
||Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer.
||C'mon, fess up!
||Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding.
||Picture this -- a caption contest
||Write a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons.
||The best tweets in history
|| Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional.
||A ______ of collective nouns
||Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things.
||An 8-year Re-Onion
||Write a fictional Onion-type headline.
||Give us four Pinocchios
||Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past.
||Someone else's business
||Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for.
||H H |
||You and what army? Military fictoids
||Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs.
||4 H H H |
||Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided.
||Less taste, more fill-in
||Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down.
||Give us some fake sports trivia.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]