PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DAVE MATUSKEY

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1300 Botch office sensations Add "13" to an existing movie title, and some humorous trouble to the plot. W
1265 Parody for the course Write a song relating to a class or course of instruction, or to school in general. T
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1233 Not TheLoserCommunity getsaweekoff(actually two)fromwritingcontest entriesandwillhaveto findsomethingelsetodo duringstaffmeetings, sermons,romantic breakups,etc. H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H H H H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. H
1226 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 61 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents names. H
1225 The Ideas of March Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.) 3
1223 Post again out to mislead public! Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24. 2
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like 3 H H H H W
1218 Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H H H
1217 Mergers you wrote: Combine two businesses with puns Give a clever name for a combination of two or more businesses. H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. 3 H
1206 Do-over the do-over -- enter any of the year's contests Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1202, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1204 Well, at least Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration. H
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. 3 H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]