PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JEFFREY MARTIN
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- 5: 5th Runner-Up; rarely seen now, last awarded to Nan Reiner in Week 1152.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||The Rorschach of the crowd
||Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways.
||Hopelessly Ever After
||Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing.
||Lost in Translation
||Find us some comical translations-and-back using Google translator. Feed some passage of English text into the tool--25 words max--and ask it to translate it into one of the five languages offered; then copy the result back into the tool and ask it to translate that back to English.
||3 H H |
||Give Us a Bad Name
||Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one.
||Try, Try Again
||Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners.
||Come up with a terrible bit of miscasting in a movie or TV show, past or present, real or imagined.
||Look at any of the abbreviated company names in the Nasdaq or New York Stock Exchange listings in any newspaper's business section and suggest what business the companies might be in.
||5 H |
||Cut and Pastiche
||Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in today's Post. You cannot subdivide words.
||Come up with modern diseases of Washington life.
||H H |
||Take any real book or movie, change one word slightly, and describe the resulting new product.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]