This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know,

Key to Ink Types:

1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. 3 H H
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. 2
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1235 The Sound of Science Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune. H
1234 It's incontestable Four weeks from now, the Empress will have just placed  her dainty imperial toe back on our glittering shores.  Which means that for the first time since January 2002,  almost 800 contests ago — back during the late reign of  her predecessor, the Czar — the Invitational will skip two  contests in a row. H
1232 Picture this -- a caption contest Write a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1230 What in creation . . . ? Supply a brief monologue or dialogue about a Creator's specifications or planning for some living being. H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. 2 H
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. 3 H
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. H
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. 3
1211 The best tweets in history Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional. H
1184 Plan C -- a third candidate? Explain why some novel person (or thing) should be president; you could also suggest a president-veep ticket. H
1183 C'mon, be honest with us Write something in roughly the form "If X were more honest, (then) Y. H
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H H H
1180 Strip search! Find a line of text from any comic strip or panel that appears on the Post's comics pages or on, dated anywhere between June 16 and June 27, and either (a) supply a question that the original line could answer, or (b) follow it with your own line of dialogue or reply. H
1176 Let 'er RIP: Write and obit line Write a humorous line or two for someone's obituary -- either for a particular person (dead or not) or for a fictional or generic one. H H
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. 2
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H
1159 It's all in the game Come up with a funny/ridiculous board-type game and describe it. H H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. 3 H
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H
1147 It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H W
1139 A little sixty-four play Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii). H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H H H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H
1135 The meter's running Suggest actions in daily life that should require a time limit -- maximum or minimum -- and come with an appropriate penalty for running over (or under). H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1132 You and what army? Military fictoids Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs. H
1124 Heed! Indeed: Advice verse Write one of the provided reminders as a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer. H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. L
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1106 Show your resolve Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future. H
1104 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- — see the links at — and say how they are alike or different. 2 H H
1096 Picture this Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoon. W
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H
1092 Are we having funds yet? Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization. H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1089 It's E-Z Find-a-Word -- your own! Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. 4
1075 Falsity is Job One Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff. H
1074 Let's go parody-hopping Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical. H
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H
1037 Outrage us Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc. 4
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1030 The cinquain feeling Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two. H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. H


Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"


"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.

[still working on this ...]