PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DON MACLEAN
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- R: Unranked Runner-Up; awarded only 57 times, and mostly in the Czarist era. Last won by Lois Douthitt in Week 919.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Come up with replacements for the Seven Wonders of the World. To qualify, an object must really exist, and be manmade and, in some way, awesome.
||SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE
||Tell us what any of the provided sounds are.
||CLUSTERS' LAST STAND
||Take an actual star cluster, redraw the lines into a different image, and give it a new name.
||Who are these people, and what are they doing?
||HELP! I'M A PRISONER IN THIS CONTEST
||Come up with fortune cookie messages that you would love to see, but never will.
||[deliberately left blank]
||[deliberately left blank]
||In 10 words or fewer, what should the back of the "Year 2" T-shirt say?
||THE SON-OF-SMITH LAW
||In 50 words or fewer, what do we do about the Chuck Smith problem?
||A GRAVE AFFAIR
||Write appropriate epitaphs for the not-yet-dead.
||GIVE US THIS DAY
||There are no holidays between Presidents' Day and Memorial Day, a cheerless run of more than three months. Let's stick one in there, somewhere. The holiday should celebrate something or someone uniquely American. Tell us the date, the name of the holiday and how it should be observed.
||H H |
||Beg for the coveted Style Invitational T-shirts.
||Write us a Tom Swiftly or two, updated for the '90s. Each must include a reference to a famous person or institution.
||H H ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]