PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MIKE LONG
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- E: Ear No One Reads. The Ear was a short phrase that appeared at the top the first page of the Style Section. It wasn't part of the SI itself, but the Czar solicited ideas for it. It was awarded 204 times, lastly to Alvin O. Marchonos (a pseudonym) in Week 332.
- K: Rookie of the Week, a Czarist innovation that appeared 20 times, lastly awarded to Bill Kabeiseman in Week 330.
||THE STYLE INVITATIONAL: HELL
||Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. You may add spacing and punctuation, but you may not move letters around.
||Send in some pleasant observation, in which you take a really cheerful or heartwarming view of something that less charitable people might conceivably see differently.
||WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?
||Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces.
||THE STYLE INVITATIONAL SOUVENIR SHOP
||Come up with bad names for a new store at a mall.
||BOOKS AND BOOKS
||Combine any two works of literature--no movies or TV--into one, give its title and describe it in a brief, appealing blurb that might appear in Publishers' Weekly.
||K W ||
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]