PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MARC LEIBERT

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
801 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions. H
768 The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious Come up with fictitious movie trivia. H
721 Know Your Market For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News. H
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H
637 Full Steam Ahead Write a steamy passage of a novel that's ostensibly by some well-known person who isn't a novelist. H
616 Picture This, Kids Supply title and one-sentence synopsis for Bob Staake new kids' project, incorporating any of the provided cartoons. H
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. H
598 Site Gags Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution. I
586 God's Will (and Won't) Complete either of the following: "If God hadn't wanted us to ----, God wouldn’t have ----"; "If God had wanted us to ----, God would have ----." H H
578 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. H H
561 Deform of a Question Take any sentence appearing in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com today through June 14, and make up a question to which the sentence could be an answer. W
560 The 97.5-Meter Dash Suggest some time- and cost-saving measures so the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens will open on time. W
548 Inklings Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies. H H
534 The Feminine Touch Propose how any male-dominated occupation or institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated. H
532 Short Pans Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art. H H
523 Hard to Overstate Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be. H H
521 Hyphen the Terrible Take the first half of any hyphenated word in today's Washington Post (or Tuesday's USA Today) and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and define the new word it produces. H
517 Insert Joke Here Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter. H
515 A Cellebration of Tasteful Living Come up with ways that Martha Stewart can prettify and improve her new prison surroundings using only her skills, her impeccable taste and those resources available to her. H
508 Letter Rip Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word. H H
507 Crocktails Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink. H
506 The Battle of All Mottoes Provide a slogan for any federal department agency, department, office, etc. 1
501 Questionable Sentences Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post and make it the answer to a question. H
500 Ergo-Nomics Create a sillygism--a syllogism that doesn't quite work. 1
487 Eee! Rotica Come with a passage in a novel that ineptly describes hanky-panky. W
484 Manufracturing Take any product and explain how it would be different if it were designed by a different existing company. H
482 Inspect Our Gadgets What are these gadgets? What do they do? 3
478 Do You Mindset? Anticipate items for the Mindset List for the freshman class of the year 2020. H H H
473 Offensive Line Find what's offensive in any of the provided cartoons, and explain. H
472 Water Stupid Idea Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought. H
465 Hyphen the Terrible Take the first half of any word or word combination in today's Post that is broken by a hyphen at the end of a line, and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word from the same story, and define the new word that is formed. H H H
464 Cursive Writing Come up with a new curse for this millennium. H
454 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
449 Cut and Pastiche Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in today's Post. You cannot subdivide words. H
448 What Kind of Foal Am I? Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races this year and propose a name for their foal. No name may exceed 18 characters, including spaces. H
440 Picture This What is going on in these cartoons? H
439 No Can Do Write signs of incompetence. 3

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]