PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR RANDY LEE

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1279 Just do it -- the 'real' way List some "accurate" directions for using some product or completing some tak. 2
1268 Playing pinocchio Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries. H H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. H
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1117 You got another sing coming Write a song about a topic or person lately in the news, set to a familiar tune. P
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H
1038 It's like this, see Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels. H
1035 The Empy 500 Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1028 Joint Legiflation Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". H
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H
933 Stories that count (to 56) Write a humorous story in exactly 56 words. H
929 Now sit right back ... Write a funny song introducing a TV show, past or present. H
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. H H
875 Fail Us Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage. H
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. 2
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. H H
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H H
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H H
859 Can't goods Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above. H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. H
852 Small, Let's get Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. H
851 Going to the shrink Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it. H
845 Reologisms Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. P
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. H
791 The 1K Club Supply a chain of 20 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "Chris Doyle." H
790 If Only! Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred. H
776 An Act of Sunny Side Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events. H
768 The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious Come up with fictitious movie trivia. M
765 It's Doo-Dah Day Write humorous lyrics commemorating any of the 50 states of the District, set to any of these Stephen Foster songs. H
761 Strip Mining Supply the text for any or all three of these Bob Staake comic strips. W
760 Whacksy Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. H H
758 Wrong Address Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage. 3
757 Gorey Thoughts From A to Z Send us some rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H H H
754 Canny Similarities Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above. H H I
752 The Might-Mates Right Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates. 4 P
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H H
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H H H H
739 Lies, All Lies Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure. H H H
737 No River, No Woods Send us a funny parody of a well-known song, with lyrics that commemorate an occasion other than Christmas or Hanukkah. H
735 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731. H
732 The Chain Gang Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush." H H H
731 Doo Process Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage. 4
730 Time-Wastes For Everyman Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time. H H
728 Tour de Fours IV Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R. H
726 Limerixicon 4 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-. H
725 Beggars For Description Describe, without being boring, a cartoon to fit any of the provided captions. H
724 Abridged Too Far Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines. H H
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H
720 The Course of Humor Events Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram. H H H H
719 We Har the World Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States. H H H H H I
718 Put Our Heads Together Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com) H H H H
717 Pitch Us a No-Hitter Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits. H
714 Amalgamated Steal Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product. H H
711 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the April 29 or May 6 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. H H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. H
705 Simile Outrageous Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references. H M
658 Not in the Cards Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress. W
605 Truly Stupendous Ideas Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]