PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR IVARS KUSKEVICS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1288 Your resukts may vary Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service. H
1286 Mind your P's and B's (and more) Replace one or more P's in a word, name, or multi-word term with a B or with another letter and define or describe the results. H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. H
1267 Jingle bungle Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle. H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. 2
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. W
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1245 Call us reprehensible … Complain in a humorously missing-the-point way about something that has appeared in The Washington Post (in print or online) recently, or in another publication. H H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. H
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H H
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.)  Coin a three­word phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. H
1220 O pedantry, O pedantry Give us some humorous pedantry. 4
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1184 Plan C -- a third candidate? Explain why some novel person (or thing) should be president; you could also suggest a president-veep ticket. H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H W
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1115 Our type o' headline Change a headline in an article or ad in the Washington Post and then add a "bank head" or subtitle. H
1113 Our occasional parodies Write a song celebrating someone's birthday or other personal occasion (rather than, say, a holiday), set to a familiar tune. 3
1109 Fictoids of Columbia Tell us some humorously untrue “facts” about Washington, D.C., and the surrounding area. H
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. 3
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1057 Sportin' lie Give us some fake sports trivia. H
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]