PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JOHN KUPIEC

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H
1271 Yodel Doyle's praises with a D-O-Y-L-E neologism Coin a new word or phrase that contains the letters D, O, Y, L and E. H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. P
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1026 'Might' makes ink Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates. H
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H
1022 What's the diff? Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
895 Picture this Supply a caption for any of these cartoons. H
888 It's the eponymy, stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence H
883 Same difference Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other. H
772 Make It Simile, Stupid Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H
760 Whacky Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. H H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
717 Pitch Us a No-Hitter Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits. H
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. H H
714 Amalgamated Steal Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product. H
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. H
705 Simile Outrageous Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references. H
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. 2
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H
648 Caller IDiot Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person. H
598 Site Gags Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution. H H H
511 It All Impends Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons. H
508 Letter Rip Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word. H
18 PUNCH US IN THE EAR Give us a motto for The Washington Post. H
15 PUNCH US Complete any of the provided jokes in 75 words or fewer. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]