PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR GREG KRAKOWER
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Revisionist History, or Badenov for You?
||State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show.
||Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader
||Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession, to form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person.
||Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word.
||Try to figure out which celebrities Bob Staake is trying to draw in imitation of Al Hirschfeld.
||Eyes on Reprise
||Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed.
||Create a new homonym of any existing word, and define. The new word must be spelled in such a way that is obviously pronounced identically to the original word.
||Invest Case Scenario
||Suggest new companies in which it might be unwise to invest.
||H H |
||A Load of Bulwer
||Give us the beginning of incompetently written novel.
||Water Stupid Idea
||Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought.
||H H |
||Ism This Stupid?
||Take any common prefix and attach it to any well-known "ism" and define the new term.
||2 H |
||Spit the Difference
||Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.
||Give us the beginning of any well-known story as retold by any famous person, living or dead, except for Ronald Reagan.
||H H |
||Give us the beginning of a letter to the editor that is certain never to see print.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]