PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR CHARLES KOELBEL
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
||Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction.
||Clue Us In
||You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid.
||H H H |
||A Big To-Do
||Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character.
||H H H |
||Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it.
||H H |
||Give us a slogan for any city or town.
||For Real Folks
||Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife.
||These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?
||Name the Day
||Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan.
||3 H H H H H |
||Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not."
||The Shill Game
||Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company.
||The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious
||Come up with fictitious movie trivia.
||Lies, All Lies
||Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure.
||H I |
||Just Drop It, Okay?
||Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it.
||The Chain Gang
||Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush."
||Time-Wastes For Everyman
||Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time.
||Name and interpret any of the provided paintings by Fred Dawson.
||A Return Engagement
||Come up with some novel change to the tax code: a tax on something ought to be taxed, a credit for something that should be rewarded, what the $3 should go to instead of presidential campaigns, etc.
||Insert Joke Here
||Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]