PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR COURTNEY KNAUTH
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Give us some bad ideas
||Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases.
||Ask backward XXIX
||You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like.
||Free and Lear
||Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines.
||H H |
||The 400 blows
||Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.
||It's Delete We Can Do
||Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen.
||Osama Chanted Evening
||Write poems about Osama bin Laden.
||Complete any of the provided jokes.
||EXPRESSING IT NICELY
||Come up with colorful expressions for any of the six provided activities, to make them sound a little less tawdry.
||THERE ONCE WAS CONTEST FROM NANTUCKET …
||Write a limerick in which the first line is about someone who comes from some place in the Washington area.
||WE RESPECTfully decline to publish any dumb entries by YOU.
||Come up with signs for a T-shirt or a bumper sticker that hide the real message in tiny type.
||Come up with jobs that make even your crummy job seem good.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]