PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JON KETZNER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1345 The confaketionary -- food fictoids Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining. H
1336 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H
1334 Mull 'er over: A search for collision Combine any two words, names, abbreviations, etc., from anywhere in the redacted Mueller report, in a two-word or hyphenated phrase and define it. H
1329 Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet. H
1326 Foaling around "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1325 Stand up and jeer Give us some original standup jokes that would have been good at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. H
1323 Selected shortened subjects Delete one or more letters from the beginning or end (or both) of a movie title and describe the resulting movie. H
1321 Pumping Prime: Amazon reviews Send us a humorous "review" (like the provided samples from our earlier contests) for any of the provided items. H
1320 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or another publication, in print or online, dated Feb. 21-March 4, and pair it with a question it might answer. H
1319 The Tile Invitational VI Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it. L
1318 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a phrase or sentence with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length. H
1315 Clue us in -- our reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues for as many as 25 of the 74 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1314 Bill Us Now -- 'joint legislation' Combine two or more names from the provided list of the new members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose H H
1312 Neologisms in TOUR de Fours XV Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block T-O-U-R and describe it. The letters may be in any order. H
1311 Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview Name some humorous event to happen in 2019. H H
1309 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1255 through Week 1281. H
1308 Picture this -- or these This week you have two choices: (1) Write a caption for one or more of these pictures, or (2) explain what is wrong with the picture. You might also combine two pictures into one -- or all four into one. H
1304 All the muse that's fit to print Present a "what if" scenario and explain its effect. H
1302 Ask Backwards 37 Fifteen "answers" are provided. Tell us the questions. Do one or more, up to a total of 25 A&Q's. H
1297 A different type o' headline contest Change a letter in an article or ad in the Post or another publication dated Sept. 13-24 by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting a letter; transposing two letters; or changing spacing or punctuation; and then add a "bank head." H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H
1293 Constitutional unconvention Humorously translate or explain some part of the U.S. Constitution. 3 H H
1289 Fake gnus: bogus animal trivia Tell us a fictoid -- a humorously false "fact" -- about the nonhuman animal kingdom. H
1288 Your results may vary Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1253 Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]