PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DAVE KELSEY
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||An Act of Sunny Side
||Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events.
||Funnies: How Time Flies
||Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption.
||Thank it Over
||Tell us some things to be thankful for.
||A Test of Character
||Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar.
||Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion.
||It's the Eponymy, Stupid
||Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence
||Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an everyday item.
||The Little Bummer Boy
||Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis.
||Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader (Inc.)
||Give us an original backronym for a company or product. A backronym is a fake etymology that often gets in a little dig at the subject.
||Picture This, Kids
||Supply title and one-sentence synopsis for Bob Staake new kids' project, incorporating any of the provided cartoons.
||Oh, and One More Thing
||What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?
||Contest Fodder Created!
||Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]