PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR WARD KAY

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. H
1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. H H
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H H H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. 4
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
1207 Clue us in -- a reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the 72 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1204 Well, at least … Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration. 3
1197 Picture This -- It's a Bob Staake caption contest Write a caption for any of the cartoons provided. H
1196 Hyphen the Terrible Combine either half of a hyphenated word or compound term with either half of another such term to create a new hyphenated term, and describe the result humorously. H
1190 You're workin' on a chain, gang Create a chain of no more than 15 proper nouns — names of people (real or fictional), products, places, etc. — including one title of a work — in which each H
1188 Just short words, one more time Explain some concept or philosophy entirely in words of one syllable. H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. H
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. H
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H H
1128 Drone for a loop Give us some novel uses for a CICADA micro-drone, assuming that anyone can get one, and that it can have a micro-camera, micro-grips, etc. H H
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H H
1116 Punning in place Create a new term using only the letters in a place name. You don't have to use all the letters, but you can't use a letter more often than it appears in the word. H
1103 Themes good enough for us Suggest an existing song to be used as the theme for a TV series or program for comic effect. H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H
1092 Are we having funds yet? Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization. H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. I
1089 It's E-Z Find-a-Word -- your own! Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H
1069 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem of no more than eight lines -- it doesn't have to rhyme -- using only the top 1,000 words on Wiktionary.org's list of the most common among 20 million words found in movie and TV scripts. H W
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. W
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. H H H H
1037 Outrage us Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc. H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H H H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. H
1022 What's the diff? Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different. H
1019 What a turnoff Tell us some creative things that children and families could do during Screen-Free Week. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
1010 Picture this Write a caption for any of the five provided cartoons. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1006 It's a ... a ... Create a new superhero (or due) and describe the superpower, or not-very-superpower. H
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H
994 Stick it to us Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. 4
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. I
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. 3
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. 4
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
942 Singular ideas Give us an idea for a contest for which there's likely only one good entry. 4
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. W
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. 2 H
905 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote responding to one of these past Editor's Query topics. 2 H
902 What's the good news? Take any sentence, or substantive part of a sentence, or a headline from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Jan. 7 to Jan. 18 and make it sound upbeat (or not so bad). 4
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H
893 Give us a hint Write a humorously witty story in 25 words or fewer. H
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. H
878 Safety in blunders Tell us a way to make the nation more secure. H
874 Stat Us Write a funny Facebook status line. 2 H
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. H
865 No Googlenopes left Come up with a humorous Googlenope. H
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. H
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. H
843 Prefrains Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song. H
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. L
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. 2 H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H
821 Spit the Difference How are any of the items on the list above alike or different? H
58 PLAY IT AGAIN, DENZEL Bring Casablanca into the 1990s. Write the opening of a plot outline, in 120 words or fewer. 1

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]