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PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JONATHAN JENSEN



WEEK TITLE SYNOPSIS INK Types
1619 A So-So Contest Give us jokes that are so [something] that [something]. H
1617 Mess With Our Heads Look at a headline and see a funnier meaning. H H H
1613 What's the Worst That Could Happen? After the election, we mean. And be funny about it. H H
1612 Asterisky Business Put words in Horace's mouth: Tell us a joke that not everyone will get. H
1611 Ask Backwards XLIII We give you the 'answers'; you tell us the questions. H
1610 Wryku Write a haiku about something in the news. 3
1609 Saved! Tell us funny ways to be thrifty in these parlous times H
1608 Stick It An election bumper sticker contest H H
1607 Funny, Init? Compare two people who have the same initials. H H H
1606 The Cold New Trend What would be an even sillier new fad than decorator refrigerator shelves? H H H H
1604 Call Your Dog Give us creative names for various pets H H H
1603 Hu-boy, It's Limerixicon XXI Write a limerick featuring a word beginning 'hu' or 'hy'. H
1600 Taylorgaters Take a line from a 'Tortured Poets' lyric and rhyme it with one of your own. H H H
1598 Same Difference We give you a random list of things, and you tell us how any two are alike or different. W H
1597 The Farce of July Give us new ways to celebrate Independence Day. H 4
1596 History for the tl;dr Crowd Sum up an event for the 21st-century reader in a rhyming couplet. W H H
1594 So Good! So Bad! So Ugly! We bring back a classic contest H
1593 Qwerty Lashes Write us something funny from just a few letters of the keyboard. H
1592 It's Parody Time Write a funny song about ... anything you like! H H
1591 Our Typo Humor More fun with headlines. H H H 2
1590 All You Need Is Ink Take a line from a Beatles song and rhyme it with your own. 3
1589 Wait Wait Right Here! Write some 'Not My Job' questions a la the NPR quiz show. H
1588 Colt Fusion Because of our munificense and guilt, you get a full hundred foal names to 'breed' for 'grandfoals' H H H
1587 The Trite Stuff Replace some well-worn phrases with better ones. H 3
1586 Pun for the Roses Our annual crazy-popular horse 'breeding' wordplay contest. H
1585 Bring Up the Rear Move the last letter of a word to the front. H H
1584 Seeds of Change Make an anagram of a name-brand product. H
1583 A Thousand Words Write a funny poem about the artwork of your choice. H H
1582 You're Workin' on a Chain, Gang A classic connection game. H H
1581 SOTU-Speak Use words from Biden's State of the Union speech to write some lines for another oration. H H H
1579 Captions Courageous Write a description for any of six photos H
1578 The Pepys Show Give us a diary entry from anyone in history. H
1577 Why the #$%#$% Not? The Washington Post is looking for some bold ideas -- Let's show it some! H 3
1575 The Ughscars and the Phewlitzers Give us an idea for a bad book or movie. H H H H
1574 Oh, Grandpa, Stop! Turn a 'dad joke' into a less-tame 'grandpa joke' H
1573 The Invitational Week 55: Tour de Fours — Be STUD-ly Give us a new word or phrase containing 'DUST' in any order of letters. 4
1571 Dead Letters, our annual obit contest Write a funny verse about someone who died in 2023. H
1570 The Invitational, Week 52: Replaying Around -- The 2023 retrospective, Part II Enter or reenter our Week 26-50. H
1569 Look Back in Inker -- Our 2023 retrospective, Part 1 Enter or reenter our Week 1-25 contests. H
1568 Nextra! Nextra! Tell us the funny news events from 2024 H H H H
1567 Picture This A caption contest H H
1566 Well, the Good News Is ... Put a positive spin on a bad-news headline H 4
1564 "Air" "Quotes" A new forefinger contest H H
1563 The Perfect(ly Ridiculous) Gift Offer up some products for people-who-have-everything catalogs. H
1562 Rhyme and Rhyme Again Write a funny "monorhyme", a poem whose lines all rhyme on the same sound. H
1561 Let It Be a Lesson to Us Tell us some things to be learned from Costco, the bathroom, TV shows, etc. H
1560 The 'Hole Story Write us a funny 'Am I The Asshole' question H
1559 As the Word Turns 'Discover' new words by snaking through this random grid H
1558 It's Parody Time Send up the news with those songs and videos you do so well W
1556 Cross Us Up Mirror a phrase, more or less P H H H H
1555 Do You Have to Spell It Out for Us? Give us "backronyms" H
1554 U (Heart) TFG's BFFs Reach out to beleaguered Trump supporters and bathe them in the warmth of your love, to help bind the nation’s wounds H H
1553 Doody and Muldoon Write a Muldoon, a four-line poem that features at least two body parts and a place name, and at least one rhyme. W H
1552 A Mirthday Party Link two people who share a birthday H
1551 Ask Backwards XLII We give the answers. You give the questions. H
1549 The Tile Invitational X It's our 10th running of this coin-a-word game. H H H
1545 Their Base Behavior Tell humorously how some business or organization could alter its product or message to appeal to Trump’s cult. H H
1544 Same Difference Tell us humorously how items on the list are alike, different, or otherwise linked. H
1543 F Things Up Neologisms by adding Fs or changing letters to F H H H H H H H
1542 Your (B)ad Here Tweak an ad slogan to use it for another product H
1541 Wrong enough for ya? Fake facts about the weather H H
1539 Get Real, Reel Name a scene in a movie, a TV show, or literature, and tell us how it might be revised (perhaps less satisfyingly but far more realistically) H
1538 Rhymes Against Humanity Write a four-line poem about people in the news, using either of two poetic forms H
1537 A Crooning Achievement Write a lyric for a politician to sing. H
1536 Colt Following Now that we have the winner and punners-up of our venerable foal-name contest, it's time for 'grandfoals'. H
1534 Pun for the Roses Our renowned horse name 'breeding' contest returns! H
1533 The Very Last 'Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions' Tell us a stupid question followed by a funny retort. H H H H 3
1532 We Bee Back With Neologisms Make up words using letter sets from the NYT Spelling Bee game W H
1527 Film Flim-Flam Use all the letters in a movie title to make a new movie H
1526 Poke Us Till We Giggle Write a "poke", or a joke recast as a rhyming poem H H
1525 Arty Har-har Give us an idea for a humorously audacious modern art work H
1523 Where in Hell ...? Name a "circle" for some "evil", plus a suitable punishment H
1522 Questionable Journalism Find a sentence published in the next week and tell us what question it could answer H
1520 Nextra! Nextra! Read All About it. Predict the big news events of 2023 H H
1519 Dead Letters The post-Post humor contest barely skips a beat as the Czar and Empress begin with the annual obit poems. 4
1515 Munich-ipals -- European "sister cities Choose any two or more towns from the 51 countries in Europe/Eurasia and come up with a joint endeavor the “sister cities” would undertake. H
1513 You're such a card Come up with a greeting card rhyme for an un-greeting-card occasion. H
1512 Alphabetter Write a 26-word sentence or other passage whose words each start with a different letter — except that the X in the X-word may appear elsewhere in the word, as long as the word has an “ex” syllable. H 2
1511 The inside word--our 'air quote' contest Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in “air quotes” to give the word a new meaning or description. H
1510 Only U (or A, E, I or O) Write a humorous univocalic poem — one that uses only one of the vowels A, E, I, O or U H H
1509 MASH MASH: combine 2 one-word movies Combine two single-word movie titles to make a new movie and describe it. H H
1508 Tour de Fours XIX —Laughtime Achievement Coin a word or phrase containing the letters E-L-D-N — consecutively but in any order — and describe it. H H 2
1506 Let's go magnet-fishing with new words From the provided list, write a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer. H H
1505 Munici-pals Choose any two or more real U.S. or Canadian towns — they need to show up on a Google search — and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake. H
1503 Sing of your supper--parodies about food Write a humorous song on the subject of food. H
1502 It's Hi-time for Limerixicon XIX Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any word, name or term beginning with “hi-. H
1500 These go to 15 Make up a word or phrase whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 15 (no blanks!) and define it. H 3
1499 Picture This, a cartoon caption contest Write a caption, either descriptive or in dialogue, for any of the provided cartoons. H H H H
1497 The if-word Give us a "what if" scenario and its humorous result H
1496 Same Difference -- compare two items on this list Tell us humorously how any two (or more) items on the provided list are alike or different, or linked in some other way. H
1493 Frankly speaking with feghoots Tell a feghoot -- a mini-story (a ridiculous one is fine) that ends in a groaner pun on a familiar expression, title, line from a song, etc. H
1492 Set us right -- conservative humor Send us conservative-leaning humor in a Q&A joke format or a knock-knock joke. H
1491 The add biz Choose any word, name or phrase beginning with A throough E, then add any single letter of the alphabet to it -- one or more times -- and define the result or show how it would be used. H H H
1490 It's parody time -- sing the news Write a satiric song about anything in the news these days. H H 2
1488 Let's recycle! Come up with humorous uses for ANY product or combination of products listed at RepurposeMaterials.com, including but no restricted to the provided list. W
1487 Colt following -- now it's the grandfoals Breed" any of the "foal" names provided in today's results (including the intro) and give the "grandfoal" a name that reflects both names. H
1486 No can do: Signs of incompetence Give us a clue that someone was incompetent in a given field. H
1485 Switchcraft -- transpose two letters in a word Switch the positions of two letters within a word, name, title or phrase, then describe the result. H H H H
1484 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H H
1483 Pun for the Roses -- our famous foal-'breeding' contest Breed" any two of the provided names and name the "foal". As in actual thoroughbred racing, a name may not exceed 18 characters including spaces. 4
1482 The Tile Invitational IX Rearrange the letters of any of the letter sets provided to create a new term, then define or describe; you may use all seven letters, but also just six or five. H
1481 Mess with our heads Reinterpret some actual headline (or a major part of it), from any publication, print or online. H
1480 Oh, you don't really mean that Define" inaccurately and humorously any of the provided words. H H
1479 It's a WordleVite! Write a prhase of 5-letter words Write a phrase or sentence consisting of two to six five-letter words or names, then define it or say something funny about it. AND the Wordle part: once a letter is in the right, "green" place -- the same place as it is in the final word (like the P in "pouty" in the example provided) -- your subsequent words must keep those letters in their right places. H H
1478 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem, eight lines max, using only words from the provided list of 1,000 most common English words. H
1477 Thinking outside the big box Send us a humorous "review" for any of the provided items listed on walmart.com<\em>. H H
1476 Matchless humor -- show us some Googlenopes Find us a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates the message "It looks like there aren't many matches for your search" -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits. H H H
1475 Hail to the Commanders! Write a song (set to any familiar tune) or shouted cheer for the Washington Commanders. OR: Write for any other D.C. institution, e.g., the Metro, the Senate, the National Zoo, The Washington Post. H
1474 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of a hyphenated word or phrase with one side of another such term -- either side can be the end or the beginning -- to create a new term. AND! Both halves of the term must come from the same issue of a newspaper (The Post or another one) or published the same day on its website, Feb. 3 through 14. H H H
1473 Sign right here Write a funny message for the overhead highway sign. H H 2
1472 Phony money -- tell us fake financial trivia Tell us some fake trivia about money or the financial system. H
1470 Your add here -- a prefix feast Add a "prefix" -- by which we mean at least one syllable of any kind (but not multiple words) -- to the beginning of any word in well-known phrase, name, book title, etc., and describe the result. H H
1469 Post Mortems 2021, our obit poems Write a poem of no longer than eight lines (plus an optional title) about someone who died in 2021. H
1468 The Year in Redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1440 through 1464. H
1467 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1413 through 1439, except for Weeks 1414-1416. H H H
1466 Be invitationally correct Give us a funny "correction" that a newspaper or magazine might offer. H
1461 It's the eponymy, stupid Create an eponym -- a word based on the name of a well-known person -- define it, and perhaps use it in a humorous sentence. H H
1459 And we quote: 'It's Parody Time' Write humorous first-person lyrics for a song "by" some particular person. H H
1458 Do adjust your set: TV anagrams+ Use all the letters of any TV show (including streamed ones), past or present, to create new show; or it can be an episode of the original. H H
1457 What is Ask Backwards XL? You are on "Jeopardy!"; various answers are provided. You provide the questions. H
1456 The hunting of the snark Ask an insulting rhetorical question in the form (or a variation) of "Is that your _______ or _______? H
1453 Haven't read it -- mis-subtitle a book Choose any book title listed on Amazon and misinterpret it by adding a subtitle. H
1452 As the Word Turns Discover" a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions, up, down, back, forth, diagonally -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H
1450 Putting the 'anoid' in humanoid Humorously describe some aspect of our current society as a space alien and/or future anthropologist might interpret it. H
1449 Let's have a get-together Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define or "quote" the resulting phrase or name. H
1448 Hear, hear -- it's Limerixicon XVIII Supply a humerous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any word, name or term beginning with "he-". H
1447 Give it to us straight Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication (print or online) dated July 29 through Aug. 9, 2021, and intepret it in “plain English". H
1446 Clue us in -- and we spill the beans Write novel clues for as many as 25 answers in the provided grid, across or down, first substituting your own letters for any covered ones. H
1443 The letters of the laws Propose some law -- it doesn't have to be a serious issue -- and give it a name and an acronym, H 3
1442 Same difference, or missing links Choose any two (or more) items from the utterly random list above and say how they're different, alike or otherwise linked. H
1441 \'Rick rolling: songs as limericks Sum up or otherwise reflect a well-known song as a limerick. H 3
1440 It's parody time! Write a satiric song about anything in the news these days. H
1439 Vowel Movement: The Musical Choose a song title; remove all the vowels; then add back as many vowels as you like to create a new title, and describe the song. You might also provide a line or two of lyrics. H H
1437 One-offs: A 'typo' neologism contest You're a fat-fingered typist: Change a word, name or phrase by either adding or substituting one letter that's adjacent (in any direction) to the original one on a regular QWERTY keyboard, or by doubling the correct letter. H 2
1436 Haven't seen it: Fun with movie titles Misinterpret a movie title in a supposed plot description. H
1432 Turn tale and run with it Offer a new angle on a folk tale, nursery rhyme, children's song, etc., with a short poem, mini-story (under 100 words) or song parody. H
1431 The On-Our-Way-Back Machine Tell us how (in some funny way) things will be different as we emerge from the pandemic. H
1430 Back to racing speed with the 'foals' Breed" any two of the provided names of the 100 horses nominated for the 2021 Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to humorously play off both parents' names. H H
1428 The Tile Invitational VIII Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1427 Rocky of ages, or Badenov for you? State any historical event -- right up to 2021 -- in the provided "A, or B" format. H H H
1423 Muddled heads: Headline anagrams Choose a headline (or part of a headline) in any print or online publication dated Feb. 11-22 and rearrange all its letters into an anagram. I H H H
1422 The Collaboratory Think of a book, movie or song title. Then pair its creator, star, singer, etc., with an unrelated "collaborator" to produce a wordplay on the title. H
1421 Alternaugural Address '21 Write a humorous passage -- a "quote", an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything -- using only words that appear in Biden's inaugural address. 3
1420 Singing on the job -- a parody contest Write a humorous "work song" for any job or profession. Set it to any well-known tune. H H
1419 Send us the bill -- 'joint legislation' Combine two or more names from the provided list of the new members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H H
1418 Tour de Fours XVII: Just Undo It Coin a word or multi-word term containing the letters U-N-D-O -- consecutive but in any order -- and describe it. H
1417 Dead Letters, our obit poem contest Write a poem of no longer than eight lines (plus an optional title) about someone who died in 2020. H H
1416 The Year in Redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1388 through 1412. W H H H H
1415 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1360 through 1387, except for Weeks 1361-1363. H
1413 We're finna give you some new words Write a poem of eight lines or fewer featuring one or more of the provided terms. The terms must be used as they're defined in the new m-w.com listing. H
1412 Jumble bells -- anagram a song line Rearrange all the letters in a song title, or a line (or more if you dare!) from a song. Optional: Offer a parody of the original tune (or a few lines of it) that refers to the new title. L 3
1411 Back end of a Bulwer Write a humorously awful final sentence or two to an imaginary novel. H
1410 Legends of the fall -- more fictoids Tell us some bogus trivia about autumn, or things that happen (or have happened) in autumn. H H
1409 Skip a groove: Drop a letter or more from a song title Drop one or more letters from somewhere in the middle of a song title and describe the new song, and/or quote some lyrics from it. H
1407 Your ad space (or space ad) here Come up with an idea for promoting some commercial product or service (a) in space, (b) in a prison, (c) at a kindergarten, (d) by a football team or (e) in the White House. H 2
1405 Okay, once more around the track Breed" any two of the provided foal names that got ink in Week 1400 and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H 2
1403 Who was that masked man? Current a short listing for a current or past TV show that has a coronavirus story line, or one reflecting some other issue in the news right now. H H
1402 The fourteeners--a neologism contest Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 14 (no blanks!), and define it. H H H H 2
1401 How hai? A joke-haiku contest Write a joke (roughly) in the "It's so xxx" genre as a haiku. H H
1400 Back on track with our classic 'foal' contest Breed" any two of the provided names of the 100 horses nominated for the 2020 Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to humorously reflect the parents' names. H
1398 This is the year that is Describe the year 2020 in a novel, colorful metaphor or simile. You may also offer an original graphic. H
1396 Hail Limerixicon XVII: Write a limerick featuring a 'ha-' word Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ha-". H
1395 Add nauseam: A plus-one contest Add a "plus one" to some familiar numerical grouping, true or fictional H
1394 Two movies, one line Cite a real or coined line, or give a description, that could work for two different movies, plays or TV shows. H
1392 Picture this -- caption these cartoons Write a caption, either descriptive or in dialogue, for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons. 3
1391 No-covid zone -- a neologism contest Coin a new word or phrase that lacks C, O, V, I and D and describe it. H H
1390 'Same difference' for a new time Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. 4
1388 Turning around a business Create a business, product, organization or similar entity that contains a word, name or phrase and its anagram, and describe it. H
1387 Movie clips -- drop letters from the middle of a title Delete one or more letters (they must be consecutive) from the middle of a movie title, and describe the resulting new movie. H
1386 Colt following: It's the grandfoals! Breed" any two of the 70 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H H
1385 Don't you want to see new places? Change any place name slightly and describe the new place. H H H
1382 For us, it's still Post Time Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 of the 145 previous Kentucky Derby winners, from 1875 to 2019, and name the foal to humorously reflect the parents' names. H
1381 Let's be equinoxious with fictoids about spring Tell us some untrue trivia about springtime or things that happen or happened in the spring. W
1379 Your wish: A pun -- a star Tell a joke, in your choice of form, whose punchline is a pun on a song title or lyric. H
1378 It's (emergency) Parody Time Write a song about life in the Age of Corona, set to a familiar tune (or even one of your own, if you perform it on video). H
1375 Mess With Our Heads Reinterpret an actual headline (or a major part of it) by adding a bank head, or subtitle. H
1374 Versus' verses in a rap battle Write a mini-"rap" between any two characters, real or fictional, as in the provided ERB example. H
1373 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a humorous "review" for any of the provided Amazon-listed items. H
1372 Trash talking, 1880-style Write a quatrain or -- heck -- two of Balliol rhyme about some person. H
1371 The Tile Invitational VII Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H 3
1370 What's in a name? Write something about a well-known person, real or fictional, using only the letters in that person's name. H
1368 Picture This -- cartoon captions Supply a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1364 Clue us in Supply clever, funny clues for as many as 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1363 The Year in Redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1334 through Week 1359. H H
1362 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1307 through 1333, except for Weeks 1309-1311. H
1357 It's parody time! Write a satirical song about anything in the news right now, set to a familiar tune. H
1356 Ask Backwards 38 Sixteen "answers" are provided. Tell us the questions. W
1350 Here's inspo for new-word poems Write a poem of eight lines or fewer featuring one or more of these recent additions to m-w.com. H
1347 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the provided Loser-concocted words and phrases, and/or show they'd be used. H H
1344 Well, that's just great -- It’s Limerixicon XVI Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gr-". H
1341 Portmanteautapping from E to R Coin a portmanteau word beginning with E through R, in which the words overlap by at least two letters, and describe it. 4
1340 Not-ables -- slightly alter a famous name Slightly alter the name (make sure the original is obvious) of a famous personage -- past or present, real or fictional -- and describe the resulting nonpersonage, or offer a quote from that person, or both. W H
1339 Songs for a modern error Write humorous lyrics about some modern woe, set to a familiar tune. H
1336 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H
1333 Check your (homo)phones Invent a homophone--a word that sounds the same as an existing word but is spelled differently--and define it. H H
1332 We'll call them Spellimericks Write a humorous limerick that's an acrostic: a pertinent five-letter word or name spelled out by the first letter of each line. H
1329 Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet. H
1328 Hooked on 'classic': a do-over Summarize a book or play by any author, or retell a scene (or even a moment) from one, in the style of some other person. H
1327 Mess with our (or anyone's) heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline (or a big part of a headline) by writing a bank head, or subtitle. H
1326 Foaling around Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1321 Pumping Prime: Amazon reviews Send us a humorous "review" (like the provided samples from our earlier contests) for any of the provided items. H
1318 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a phrase or sentence with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length. H H
1317 Punku 2: Haiku with puns Create a haiku containing a pun or similar wordplay. H
1316 Lies, damn lies, with statistics Tell us some bogus trivia using "statistics" or some bogus quantitative meaure. H
1315 Clue us in -- our reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues for as many as 25 of the 74 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1311 Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview Name some humorous event to happen in 2019. H
1306 PolitiCaroling: A song parody contest Write a song about something in the news lately -- political or otherwise -- using a Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year's tune. 4
1305 Hits and Googles Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits. H H
1287 It's parody time: Oldies for newsies Write some song lyrics about something in the news these days, set to a familiar tune. H