PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JONATHAN JENSEN
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Two ways about it
||What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations.
||Check your (homo)phones
||Invent a homophone--a word that sounds the same as an existing word but is spelled differently--and define it.
||H H |
||We'll call them Spellimericks
||Write a humorous limerick that's an acrostic: a pertinent five-letter word or name spelled out by the first letter of each line.
||Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters
||Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet.
||Hooked on 'classic': a do-over
||Summarize a book or play by any author, or retell a scene (or even a moment) from one, in the style of some other person.
||Mess with our (or anyone's) heads
||Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline (or a big part of a headline) by writing a bank head, or subtitle.
||"Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names.
||Pumping Prime: Amazon reviews
||Send us a humorous "review" (like the provided samples from our earlier contests) for any of the provided items.
||Love the tiny tail stain!
||Create an anagram -- a phrase or sentence with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length.
||H H |
||Punku 2: Haiku with puns
||Create a haiku containing a pun or similar wordplay.
||Lies, damn lies, with statistics
||Tell us some bogus trivia using "statistics" or some bogus quantitative meaure.
||Clue us in -- our reverse crossword
||Supply clever, funny clues for as many as 25 of the 74 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid.
||Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview
||Name some humorous event to happen in 2019.
||PolitiCaroling: A song parody contest
||Write a song about something in the news lately -- political or otherwise -- using a Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year's tune.
||Hits and Googles
||Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits.
||H H |
||It's parody time: Oldies for newsies
||Write some song lyrics about something in the news these days, set to a familiar tune.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]