PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JONATHAN JENSEN

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1350 Here's inspo for new-word poems Write a poem of eight lines or fewer featuring one or more of these recent additions to m-w.com. H
1347 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the provided Loser-concocted words and phrases, and/or show they'd be used. H H
1344 Well, that's just great -- Itís Limerixicon XVI Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gr-". H
1341 Portmanteautapping from E to R Coin a portmanteau word beginning with E through R, in which the words overlap by at least two letters, and describe it. 4
1340 Not-ables -- slightly alter a famous name Slightly alter the name (make sure the original is obvious) of a famous personage -- past or present, real or fictional -- and describe the resulting nonpersonage, or offer a quote from that person, or both. H W
1339 Songs for a modern error Write humorous lyrics about some modern woe, set to a familiar tune. H
1336 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H
1333 Check your (homo)phones Invent a homophone--a word that sounds the same as an existing word but is spelled differently--and define it. H H
1332 We'll call them Spellimericks Write a humorous limerick that's an acrostic: a pertinent five-letter word or name spelled out by the first letter of each line. H
1329 Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet. H
1328 Hooked on 'classic': a do-over Summarize a book or play by any author, or retell a scene (or even a moment) from one, in the style of some other person. H
1327 Mess with our (or anyone's) heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline (or a big part of a headline) by writing a bank head, or subtitle. H
1326 Foaling around "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1321 Pumping Prime: Amazon reviews Send us a humorous "review" (like the provided samples from our earlier contests) for any of the provided items. H
1318 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a phrase or sentence with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length. H H
1317 Punku 2: Haiku with puns Create a haiku containing a pun or similar wordplay. H
1316 Lies, damn lies, with statistics Tell us some bogus trivia using "statistics" or some bogus quantitative meaure. H
1315 Clue us in -- our reverse crossword Supply clever, funny clues for as many as 25 of the 74 words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1311 Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview Name some humorous event to happen in 2019. H
1306 PolitiCaroling: A song parody contest Write a song about something in the news lately -- political or otherwise -- using a Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year's tune. 4
1305 Hits and Googles Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits. H H
1287 It's parody time: Oldies for newsies Write some song lyrics about something in the news these days, set to a familiar tune. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]