PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR PETER JENKINS
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
- T: Revised Title for current or next Week's Results.
||Ask Backwards 37
||Fifteen "answers" are provided. Tell us the questions. Do one or more, up to a total of 25 A&Q's.
||Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked.
||The hex files: creative curses
||Come up with a creative curse.
||Ask Backwards 36
||Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer.
||Give us a "then/now" joke.
||The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries total).
||Show us your touché
||Offer an elegantly snide (and original) insult of anyone living or dead.
||Punning in place
||Create a new term using only the letters in a place name. You don't have to use all the letters, but you can't use a letter more often than it appears in the word.
||Fictoids of Columbia
||Tell us some humorously untrue “facts” about Washington, D.C., and the surrounding area.
||It's mating season
||"Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names.
||'Might' makes ink
||Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates.
||Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.
||Putting the SAT in satire
||Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y."
||2 H |
||We WANT stupid complaints!
||Complain comically unreasonably about some innocuous thing appearing in the print Post or on washingtonpost.com over the next week or the previous few days.
||Your mug here
||Give us a new design for the Loser Mug.
||Write a word-palindrome sentence, in which the first and last words are the same; the second and next-to-last, etc.
||T W |
||Food for naught
||Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result.
||Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product).
||Combine any two sports or nonathletic activities into a single sport or game.
||Another Game of Tag
||Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional.
||Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions.
||Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]