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PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JAY SHUCK



WEEK TITLE SYNOPSIS INK Types
1411 Back end of a Bulwer Write a humorously awful final sentence or two to an imaginary novel. H
1320 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or another publication, in print or online, dated Feb. 21-March 4, and pair it with a question it might answer. H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. H
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
859 Can't goods Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above. H
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H
843 Prefrains Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song. H H
842 Ask backwards Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please. H
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. H
838 Picture This Provide a caption for any of these pictures. H
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. W
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H
821 Spit the Difference How are any of the items on the list above alike or different? H
820 Be Mister Language Person Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer. H
819 Art Re-View These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they? H H 2
818 Name the Day Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan. H
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. H
808 Take Us At Our Words Create a humorous poem or other writing using only the words contained in this week's Style Invitational column or results. H 2
807 Pretty Graphic Expressions Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. H H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). 3
804 Our Type o' Joke Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it. W 4
802 Dreck TV Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming. H H
798 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008. H 4
797 Be Resolute Make a humorous resolution for some particular person or institution to accomplish next year. 4
795 Stimulate Us Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on. H
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H H
788 The Back End of a Bulwer Give us a comically terrible ending of a novel. H 4
782 That's the Ticket! Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States. H H
781 Our Greatest Hit Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
777 Limerixicon 5 Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-. H H
774 Tour De Forks Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it. 3
773 Always Looking for Sects Coin a religion or belief system and tell us its basic tenet or distinguishing characteristic. H
772 Make It Simile, Stupid Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. H H
767 Questionable Journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer. H H
765 It's Doo-Dah Day Write humorous lyrics commemorating any of the 50 states of the District, set to any of these Stephen Foster songs. 3
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H 2
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H
761 Strip Mining Supply the text for any or all three of these Bob Staake comic strips. H
760 Whacksy Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. H H
758 Wrong Address Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage. H
756 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H 4
754 Canny Similarities Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above. H H
753 Hot Off The Riddle Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer. H
752 The Might-Mates Right Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates. H H
751 Strike Gold Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike. H
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H H H
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
744 You OED Us One Make up a humorous and false definition for any of the words listed below. H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
741 Well, What Do You Know? Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations. H H
740 Give Us a Hint Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well. H
739 Lies, All Lies Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure. H
738 So What's To Liken? Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar. H H
736 So, Should I Drive Like Your Brother? Ask a car-related question that would make the Car Guys crack up. If you're not into cars, you can also post a question for advice columnist Ask Amy or etiquette columnist Miss Manners. H H
734 Turnaround Time Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other. H
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. H
731 Doo Process Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage. H
730 Time-Wastes For Everyman Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time. H H H
729 Otherwordly Visions Take any sentence in an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 1 through Sept. 10 and translate it into "plain English. H
728 Tour de Fours IV Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R. H
727 We Get a C-Section Tell us some pros and cons of moving The Style Invitational to the Saturday Style section; or write us up some free promo-ad copying announcing the move. H
726 Limerixicon 4 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-. 1
725 Beggars For Description Describe, without being boring, a cartoon to fit any of the provided captions. M H H
724 Abridged Too Far Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines. H
721 Know Your Market For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News. H
720 The Course of Humor Events Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram. H H H H H
719 We Har the World Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States. H
718 Put Our Heads Together Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com) H H 3
716 The Hard Spell Write a humorous poem featuring one of the 75 words we've selected from this year's National Spelling Bee. H
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. H
714 Amalgamated Steal Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product. H 1
713 Painings Name and interpret any of the provided paintings by Fred Dawson. H H H 4
712 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in the results of Week 708, and name THEIR foal. H 1
711 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the April 29 or May 6 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H H
710 Aw, Shoot Send us a funny, clever, entirely original photo featuring kitchen utensils and/or small household tools. H 2
709 A Return Engagement Come up with some novel change to the tax code: a tax on something ought to be taxed, a credit for something that should be rewarded, what the $3 should go to instead of presidential campaigns, etc. H
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. H 1
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. H
705 Simile Outrageous Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references. W H H
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H H
703 Freak Trade Agreements Think of one thing to trade for another, and supply a short and funny explanation. H
700 Stump Us Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign. H H
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H H 3
698 Let's Get Personnel Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer. H 3
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H H H
693 Everything Being Sequel Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie. H
692 Reinkernation Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 640 through Week 688. Every entry must include the word "three" or "third" or a creative variation. H H H H
691 Haven't Got a Clue Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words. H H
689 Busted Play Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket. H H
688 Making Short Work Write a humorous six-word story. H
687 What Were They Thinking? Tell us (A) What someone might say in some situation, and (B) what that person was actually thinking when he said A. H
685 Thank it Over Tell us some things to be thankful for. H
682 Punkin'd! Send us a funny, clever, entirely original photo featuring one or more pumpkins and/or other vegetables. H H 2
681 Ticket to Write Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song. W H H H
680 Rendered Speechless Provide dialogue to fill the balloons in any of these cartoons. H H H
679 Ask Backwards Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare. H H
677 The News Gets Verse Sum up wittily in verse -- but not a limerick -- any article appearing in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4. H H 3
676 Tour de Fours III Coin and define a word containing -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters L, E, A and F. H H
675 Cut Us Some Slack Come up with humorous ways to be lazy. H H 1
674 Limerixicon 3 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-. H
672 Just Sign This Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign. H H H H
671 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the July 16 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H H
670 A Test of Character Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar. H
669 Huddled Messes Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal). 1
668 Cut From the Chase Write an original John-Bunnell-style wrap-up to a crime story -- or one for a more minor transgression. H H H H H
667 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through June 26 and supply a question it could answer. H
666 Bedevil Us Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days. H
665 Your One-in-a-Million Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion. H
664 A Thousand Times?! No! Come up with a new signature line for Russell Beland's -- or anyone else's -- e-mails. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H H
661 Name Any Good Movies Lately? Give us a funny new title for an existing movie. H H H
660 Foaling Down: The Next Generation Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H H
659 Tell Us a Fib Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme. H H H 3
658 Not in the Cards Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress. H
657 Nuts Fruit Send in funny (but printable) images of real pieces of fruit. H
654 It Plays to Recycle Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas. H 1
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H H H
651 Show Us Some Character Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it. W
650 King Us Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an everyday item. H 1
649 Across the Wide What? Give us some Virginia-appropriate lyrics for "Shenandoah. 2
648 Caller IDiot Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person. H H
646 Warped Perspectives Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons. H H
645 A Hearty Har Har Write up a Valentine's sentiment to any personage, or to someone in some generic category. H
644 Winter Limp Picks Brighten up the Winter Olympics with some new events and rules. Alternatively, you can suggest a commercial or ad campaign that could be tied in with the Winter Games or one of its sports. H
643 The Post's Mortems Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005. H
641 Dreck of All Trades Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it. H
640 Whassa Motto Wid You? Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories. H