PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MAY JAMPATHOM

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1298 It's IGH time for 3-word phrases Make up some entity that might take a three-letter abbreviation of GHI, HGI, GGG, GHH, etc., and then humorously describe it. L
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1233 Not TheLoserCommunity getsaweekoff(actually two)fromwritingcontest entriesandwillhaveto findsomethingelsetodo duringstaffmeetings, sermons,romantic breakups,etc. H
1226 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 61 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents names. H H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H
1059 With parens like these Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H
886 Look both ways Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it. H
883 Same difference Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. H
837 Strip Search Combine two comic strips that appear in The Washington Post or at washingtonpost.com/comics and describe the results. 3
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. H
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H H
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]