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PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR J. CALVIN SMITH



WEEK TITLE SYNOPSIS INK Types
1202 Don't be afraid of the dark Write lyrics to a song that, in some way, express hope. H
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. 3
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. H H 4
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H
805 Brand Eccchs Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). H
804 Our Type o' Joke Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it. H H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H H 2
129 REMAKE US HAPPY Come up with alternative story lines to movie titles, new or old. 3
125 ASK BACKWARD VI You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
124 SPOON-FEED US. Come up with spoonerisms, expressions based on the transposition of the initial sounds of two paired words. H
123 WHY IS POOP FUNNY? Come up with creative answers to any of the five questions above that might be asked by a 5-year-old. H
110 DO NOT INHALE THIS PAGE Come up with absurd warning labels that might be found on common products. H H
108 NEAR MISSES Come up with the first drafts of great lines in history, entertainment or literature. H H 4
105 WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA? Come up with Good Ideas and then convert them to Bad Ideas through slight changes in wording. L
99 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES? What's wrong with these pictures? 3
95 HOW'S THAT AGAIN? Take any headline appearing anywhere in The Post this week and completely rewrite the first lines of the story to put a different, unintended spin on it. H
89 CHILD'S PLAY Come up with bad ideas for new toys for the Christmas season. H
86 EXCUSES, EXCUSES Come up with funny excuses for various malfeasances. 3
85 PLAY MYTHTY FOR ME Come up with new urban myths, those vaguely believable, wildly paranoid stories that circulate by word of mouth until they are generally accepted as true. 1
78 SEEKING SMART MORONS Come up with an oxymoron for our times, an expression made bogus by the fact that it combines incompatible, contradictory ideas. H
75 CURSES! Come up with modern maledictions in the wise and entertaining Yiddish tradition. H
74 SHIRT HAPPENS In 10 words or fewer, what should the back of the "Year 2" T-shirt say? 1
72 OH, HELL Come up with the perfect vision of Hell for a famous person, living or dead. H
70 SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA Come up with jokes based on noises. H H H 2
69 LAYING DOWN THE LAW Send us some exciting new principles that explain why things happen they way they happen. H 1
67 FAMOUS LAST WORDS Make up the last words of famous dead people whose last words are unknown. H 1
65 DESPERATELY SEEKING HUMOR Write a personal ad. It may be for a celebrity or for anyone in need of adroit euphemism. H
60 ASK BACKWARDS III You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H H H