PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MARY ANN HENNINGSEN

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1420 Singing on the job -- a parody contest Write a humorous "work song" for any job or profession. Set it to any well-known tune. H
1240 We GIVE you Limerixicon XIV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gh-" or "gi-". H
816 Googillions Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search. H
790 If Only! Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred. P
698 Let's Get Personnel Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer. H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H
690 Funnies: How Time Flies Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption. H H
684 Backtricking Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word. H
683 What a Piece of Work String together words in a single scene, or two consecutive scenes, of "Hamlet" to produce one or more funny sentences, preferably unrelated to the original content. The words must appear in the order in which they appear in the play. H H
661 Name Any Good Movies Lately? Give us a funny new title for an existing movie. H
658 Not in the Cards Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress. H
646 Warped Perspectives Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons. H
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. H
604 Fun for the Roses Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. H
599 So What's the News? Tell us what the illustrated events are. H
578 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. H H
573 Thine Ad Goest Here Propose biblical and other literary passages, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement. H
572 The Limerixicon Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-. H
553 Picture This Tell us what's going on in one or more of the provided cartoons. H
550 Spring Cleaning Suggest creative uses for things you've already used, or never will use, or other disposable household thingies, singly or in combination. H
546 A Nice Pair of Cities Choose any two or more real U.S. towns and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake. P
544 You Gotta Have Heart Write us some valentine sentiments from one particular person (real or fictional) to another. H
543 Read Our Leaps Fill any readers of The Washington Post on Sunday, Feb. 29, 2032, on: (a) the day's lead news story; (b) the highest-flying company and its business; (c) the best-selling self-help book; and/or (d) the day's winning Style Invitational entry. H
542 Discombobulate Us Come up with both an object/situation and a neologism for it, something that Bob Levey would never have stooped to print in his column. H
540 Revisionist History, or Badenov for You? State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show. H
539 Dead Letters Pay tribute in verse to someone who died in 2003. H H
524 Around Things Moving Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about. H
490 Eyes on Reprise Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed. H
359 It's No Party Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet. H
294 PRODUCT LIARBILITY Take the name of any commercial product and redefine it. 5 H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]