PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DAN HELMING

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1465 Put your '22 cents in for our annual pre-timeline Name some humorous news event to happen in 2022. H H
1457 What is Ask Backwards XL? You are on "Jeopardy!"; various answers are provided. You provide the questions. H
1452 As the Word Turns "Discover" a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions, up, down, back, forth, diagonally -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. 4
1446 Clue us in -- and we spill the beans Write novel clues for as many as 25 answers in the provided grid, across or down, first substituting your own letters for any covered ones. H
1442 Same difference, or missing links Choose any two (or more) items from the utterly random list above and say how they're different, alike or otherwise linked. H
1429 Forsoothsayers Quote a line or so from any Shakespeare work, and exemplify it with a contemporary quote, real or imagined. H
1424 We Bee back -- a neologism contest From any of the 30 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term or phrase and describe it humorously. You must use the first letter in the set (anywhere in the word) plus any or all of the others, as often as you like. 4
1419 Send us the bill -- 'joint legislation' Combine two or more names from the provided list of the new members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1416 The Year in Redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1388 through 1412. H
1415 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1360 through 1387, except for Weeks 1361-1363. H
1404 Ask Backwards XXXIX The answers are provided. You supply the questions. H
1391 No-covid zone -- a neologism contest Coin a new word or phrase that lacks C, O, V, I and D and describe it. H
1384 Of course there are stupid questions! Give us stupid questions, especially ones reflecting Our Current Situation. I
1377 Make your own March Madness Think of some sport, game, art project or other activity that you can conjure up using various items that you might find around the house. 2
1375 Mess With Our Heads Reinterpret an actual headline (or a major part of it) by adding a bank head, or subtitle. H
1353 What's playing at the retroplex Change a movie title to its "opposite" by reversing one or more words; then describe the new movie. H
1345 The confaketionary -- food fictoids Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining. H
1336 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H
1333 Check your (homo)phones Invent a homophone--a word that sounds the same as an existing word but is spelled differently--and define it. H
1322 Back to the drawing board Come up with an idea for an invention that still needs a bug ironed out. 2
1319 The Tile Invitational VI Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1312 Neologisms in TOUR de Fours XV Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block T-O-U-R and describe it. The letters may be in any order. H H
1311 Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview Name some humorous event to happen in 2019. 4
1285 That is so wrong! Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer and a cleverly "wrong" guess. H H
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H P
1225 The Ideas of March Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.) H
1218 Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" H H
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. H
482 Inspect Our Gadgets What are these gadgets? What do they do? H
443 Sick Humor Come up with modern diseases of Washington life. I
440 Picture This What is going on in these cartoons? H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]