PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DAN HELMING
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||The confaketionary -- food fictoids
||Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining.
||Two ways about it
||What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations.
||Check your (homo)phones
||Invent a homophone--a word that sounds the same as an existing word but is spelled differently--and define it.
||Back to the drawing board
||Come up with an idea for an invention that still needs a bug ironed out.
||The Tile Invitational VI
||Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it.
||Neologisms in TOUR de Fours XV
||Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block T-O-U-R and describe it. The letters may be in any order.
||H H |
||Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview
||Name some humorous event to happen in 2019.
||That is so wrong!
||Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer and a cleverly "wrong" guess.
||H H |
||A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes'
||Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description.
||A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place
||Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit.
||What lies (are) ahead for 2018
||Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018.
||Beat the banned with euphemisms
||Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other.
||The year in redo, Part 1
||Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206.
||Thanking outside the box
||Tell us something to be thankful for.
||Less taste, more fill-in
||Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down.
||H P |
||The Ideas of March
||Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.)
||Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads
||Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle.
||A so-so contest (How so-so is it?)
||Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …"
||H H |
||We want some bad choices
||Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown.
||Inspect Our Gadgets
||What are these gadgets? What do they do?
||Come up with modern diseases of Washington life.
||What is going on in these cartoons?
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]