PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JONATHAN HARDIS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1278 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 68 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names, in the style of today's inking entries. H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. 4
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. 2 H H H
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. 3 H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked. H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. H
1103 Themes good enough for us Suggest an existing song to be used as the theme for a TV series or program for comic effect. H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H
1088 Ask backwards with our answers, your questions Supply the questions to as many of the 16 supplies answers as you like. H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H
1063 Same difference Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different. H H H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H H H
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. 4 H
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H H H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
1003 Just do it Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect. H M
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. H I
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H
938 Free and Lear Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines. H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H H
908 Recast away Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role. 2 H
907 Naming rite Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one. 4

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]