PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ED GORDON

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1296 A, we're Adorbs: New-word poems Use one or more of these words new to M-W.com in a humorous poem of eight lines max. P
1294 As the word turns “Discover” a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters — in any direction or several directions — in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. P
1284 Same difference Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. P
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1253 Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. P
1234 It's incontestable Four weeks from now, the Empress will have just placed  her dainty imperial toe back on our glittering shores.  Which means that for the first time since January 2002,  almost 800 contests ago — back during the late reign of  her predecessor, the Czar — the Invitational will skip two  contests in a row. H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
1225 The Ideas of March Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.) H
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H
1179 Blasted alphabetical contests . . . Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C -- in any order -- and describe it. H
1173 Tinker with the recipe Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc. H
1168 Asterisky business Tell us an original joke whose punchline can't be understood without knowledge -- not necessarily scientific -- that most of us don't have (which you'll supply with a concise explanation). H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. 2
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. H
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H
1127 From the creators of … Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue. H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. 2
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1092 Are we having funds yet? Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization. H
1075 Falsity is Job One Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff. 3
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. H
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different. H
1063 Same difference Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different. H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. P
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H
990 Indecent relations Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair. T
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. T
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. 2
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. 3
915 Picture this Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here. H
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H P
897 Catch their drift Take any sentence from an article of ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English." H
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. H
860 Ten, Anyone? Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words. H
846 Season's gratings Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. H
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
830 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. H
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. T
806 DQ Very Much Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere). W
803 The Pepys Show Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history. P
801 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions. H
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. P
786 Top of the Staake So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest. 4
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. H
760 Whacksy Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. I
741 Well, What Do You Know? Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations. H
738 So What's To Liken? Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar. H
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. P
698 Let's Get Personnel Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer. H
693 Everything Being Sequel Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie. H
681 Ticket to Write Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song. H
680 Rendered Speechless Provide dialogue to fill the balloons in any of these cartoons. H
679 Ask Backwards Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare. H
674 Limerixicon 3 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-. P
673 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on Washingtonpost.com from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H
666 Bedevil Us Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days. P
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H
640 Whassa Motto Wid You? Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories. H
422 Taught Language Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]