||A, we're Adorbs: New-word poems
||Use one or more of these words new to M-W.com in a humorous poem of eight lines max.
||As the word turns
||“Discover” a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters — in any direction or several directions — in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition.
||Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked.
||The year in redo, Part 1
||Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206.
||Picture this -- a caption contest
||Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons.
||Fashion x fiction: More fake trivia
||Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion.
||Give us a "then/now" joke.
||Four weeks from now, the Empress will have just placed her dainty imperial toe back on our glittering shores. Which means that for the first time since January 2002, almost 800 contests ago — back during the late reign of her predecessor, the Czar — the Invitational will skip two contests in a row.
||That movie is SO about you
||Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie.
||The Ideas of March
||Suggest a march for some group or field, along with one or more slogans. (You might also, or instead, comment on the march with some pertinent wordplay.)
||Where in the wor(l)d?
||(1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there.
||Blasted alphabetical contests . . .
||Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C -- in any order -- and describe it.
||Tinker with the recipe
||Slightly change the name of a food or brand of food (or something else in the food industry) and describe it, or write a slogan, jingle, etc.
||Tell us an original joke whose punchline can't be understood without knowledge -- not necessarily scientific -- that most of us don't have (which you'll supply with a concise explanation).
||Give us four Pinocchios
||Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past.
||What have we here?
||Tell us what one or more of these objects really are.
||Gestures of depreciation
||Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession.
||You're giving us a bad name
||Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for.
||Be a published author!
||Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined.
||From the creators of …
||Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue.
||We want hue so bad
||Invent a name for a color and describe it.
||When you riff upon a store
||Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business.
||The mama of all humor
||Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional.
||Prime time for some Amazon reviews
||Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon.
||Are we having funds yet?
||Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization.
||Falsity is Job One
||Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff.
||Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads
||Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it.
||The Tile Invitational
||Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it.
||A pair of threes
||Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different.
||Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different.
||Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons.
||Songs for the asking
||Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer.
||What have you got to lose?
||Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song.
||IRS my case
||Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.
Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.
Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.
||Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it.
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948.
||We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question.
||Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair.
||Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided.
||Eat our dust!
||Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show.
||Trends and neighbors
||Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different.
||Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question.
||Doomed to repeat it
||Create "Unreal Facts" about history.
||Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here.
||Clue us in
||Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid.
||H P |
||Catch their drift
||Take any sentence from an article of ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English."
||Back to Square 1A
||Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously.
||Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words.
||Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction.
||Food for naught
||Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result.
||Other People's Business
||Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice.
||Mess With Our Heads
||Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.
||Give us a slogan for any city or town.
||There Will Be Bloodline
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.
||DQ Very Much
||Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere).
||The Pepys Show
||Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions.
||Ripped Off From the Headlines
||Send us some Onion-type headlines.
||Top of the Staake
||So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest.
||Location, Location, Location
||Say how you know you're in a particular place.
||Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style.
||Well, What Do You Know?
||Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations.
||So What's To Liken?
||Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar.
||Just Drop It, Okay?
||Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it.
||Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer.
||Let's Get Personnel
||Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer.
||Everything Being Sequel
||Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie.
||Ticket to Write
||Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song.
||Provide dialogue to fill the balloons in any of these cartoons.
||Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare.
||Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-.
||Mess With Our Heads
||Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on Washingtonpost.com from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it.
||Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days.
||It's Open Season
||Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S.
||Whassa Motto Wid You?
||Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories.
||Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page.