PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MICHAEL GIPS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1284 Same difference Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1268 Playing pinocchio Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries. H
1263 Playing the short game Using the three-letter Olympic national abbreviations and/or the abbreviation for any college, tell what would happen if one abbreviated team played another. H
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. H
1223 Post again out to mislead public! Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24. H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1198 Give it to us straight Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication dated Oct. 20 to Oct. 31 — or from an online article dated within that period — and translate it into “plain English,” H
1187 Just drop it, okay? Drop the last letter from an existing word, phrase or name and define the result. H
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H H
1184 Plan C -- a third candidate? Explain why some novel person (or thing) should be president; you could also suggest a president-veep ticket. H
1176 Let 'er RIP: Write and obit line Write a humorous line or two for someone's obituary -- either for a particular person (dead or not) or for a fictional or generic one. H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1159 It's all in the game Come up with a funny/ridiculous board-type game and describe it. 3
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H H H
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H H
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. H
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. H
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. P
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H
1139 A little sixty-four play Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii). H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1135 The meter's running Suggest actions in daily life that should require a time limit -- maximum or minimum -- and come with an appropriate penalty for running over (or under). 2 H I
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H H
1132 You and what army? Military fictoids Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs. H H
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. H
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. H
1124 Heed! Indeed: Advice verse Write one of the provided reminders as a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer. 4 H
1123 The Tile Invitational III Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets. H
1114 Awww together now Write us a humorous headline -- from the past, present, or future -- that puts an optimistic perspective on some otherwise not-so-promising news. H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H
1109 Fictoids of Columbia Tell us some humorously untrue “facts” about Washington, D.C., and the surrounding area. H H
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1105 A lit obit of fun Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2014. H
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. H I
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. H
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. 2 H H
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". H
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H H
1092 Are we having funds yet? Suggest a humorous fundraising "challenge" for any organization. I
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1088 Ask backwards with our answers, your questions Supply the questions to as many of the 16 supplies answers as you like. H
1087 The core ridiculum Come up with a comical class (any type of school) and provide a course catalog description. H I
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H H I
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. I
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1078 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of any hyphenated word or compound term with one side of another word to make a new hyphenated term, and define it humorously. Both halves must appear in the same issue of The Post or another print newspaper, or in writing published the same day on washingtonpost.com or another online publication. H H W
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. W
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H P
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. H I
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1063 Same difference Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different. H P
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H H
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. P
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. H
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. H I
1054 Dead letters Write a short, humorous poem commemorating someone (or maybe even something) who died in 2013. H
1050 Just redo it Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046. H
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. H
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H H
1046 Derive us crazy Offer a bogus but funny explanation of how a particular expression originated. H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

H
1039 Shookespeare Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage. P
1038 It's like this, see Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels. 4
1037 Outrage us Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc. H I
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. H H
1035 The Empy 500 Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. W
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H H
1032 Hid stuff Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer. H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. 2
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H H
1025 In so many words Create an original backronym for a name or other term, especially one that's been in the news lately. H P
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. 2
1022 What's the diff? Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different. H H W
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H H H
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. 4 H
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. H W
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H H L
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. H
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H P
1005 Send us the bill Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or more of the 98 new House and Senate members provided. H
1003 Just do it Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect. H
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition from any other the listed OED words. H H
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. H
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. 3 H H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H H
998 Set the law on us Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world. H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. L
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H H H
994 Stick it to us Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. H
993 Versus, verses Write a short "rap battle" between any two characters, real or fictional. H I
992 Mittsterpiece Theatre Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen. H
990 Indecent relations Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair. H
989 On the double Come up with a double or multiple profession, and explain how each job complements the other(s). H
988 A faster break Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting. H I
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H H
984 Another brilliant contest Write something whose words begin with consecutive letters of the alphabet. H
982 The parody line Set your own, humorous words to the tune of a well-known song--except that you must preserve one of the original lines. 4 H
981 Feeling testy Write a question that "ought to" be on a qualifying test for a particular job. H I
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
979 The madding crowd Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off. H
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H H
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. 3 H
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H
966 Inkremental change Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. 4 H H
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H
959 Out of network Move a current or former TV program (or type of programming) to a different network and explain what would change. H I
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H H H
954 Bring on the 'fight' jokes Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.” 3
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. 3
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." L
946 Another round of Bierce Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term. H
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. H
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H
940 Our type o' headline Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead). 3 H
937 Staake it to him Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books. H
936 Hoho contendere Slightly alter a well-known foreign-language term and define it. H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H H
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. H
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. H
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. H
909 Reprizing Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination. I
906 Your mug here Give us a new design for the Loser Mug. W
902 What's the good news? Take any sentence, or substantive part of a sentence, or a headline from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Jan. 7 to Jan. 18 and make it sound upbeat (or not so bad). H
898 Pre-current events Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011. H
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H
865 No Googlenopes left Come up with a humorous Googlenope. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
862 Be cheerful Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team or any national team. H
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H W
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H
845 Reologisms Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. H
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. L
795 Stimulate Us Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on. H
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. H
644 Winter Limp Picks Brighten up the Winter Olympics with some new events and rule. Alternatively, you can suggest a commercial or ad campaign that could be tied in with the Winter Games or one of its sports. H
532 Short Pans Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art. 4 H
524 Around Things Moving Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about. H
509 Be a Real Card Come up with a greeting card rhyme for an un-greeting-card occasion. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]