PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR J. J. GERTLER
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 1: 1st Runner-Up; rarely seen now, last awarded to Jon Dixon in Week 792.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Love the tiny tail stain!
||Create an anagram -- a phrase or sentence with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length.
||Call us reprehensible …
||Complain in a humorously missing-the-point way about something that has appeared in The Washington Post (in print or online) recently, or in another publication.
||Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal.
||Give us a slogan for any city or town.
||H H |
||Send Us the Bill
||Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together.
||Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other.
||Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader
||Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession, to form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person.
||Take any name of a person or thing, and construct an appropriate message using its letters, in order, as the first letters of the words of your message.
||Come up with one or more items from an underachiever's list of midlife resolutions.
||Spinning Out of Control
||Take a headline in today's Washington Post and create a subhead that spins the story in an opposite or unexpected direction.
||Complete any of the provided jokes.
||Select one subject, one verb, and one object from the provided lists, and then answer the riddle you create.
||It's No Party
||Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet.
||Finish the Fire
||Finish "We Didn't Start the Fire," to summarize 1990 to the present.
||FREE FOR OIL
||Take any article in today's paper, and write an outraged letter to the editor about it that totally misses the point, either by misreading a word or misunderstanding the topic.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]