||A so-so contest (How so-so is it?)
||Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …"
||The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux'
||Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result.
||BAD ABOUT YOU
||Come up with a lame idea for a Style Invitational contest, an idea destined to create unfunny results.
||3 H |
||NO HARD FEELINGS
||Fill in the balloons in these cheerful farewell panels drawn by Marc Rosenthal, the Style Invitational artist who is being replaced by Bob Staake.
||A GRAVE AFFAIR
||Write appropriate epitaphs for the not-yet-dead.
||What does God look like?
||H W |
||A STATE OF DISGRACE?
||Propose any of the following for D.C.: A State Name, A State Flower, A State Bird, A State Slogan, A State Capital, A Governor, An Insulting State Joke.
||FATAL ART ATTACK
||In 50 words or fewer, describe a performance art concept that might get public funding. Winners will be audacious enough to seem like art, but pretentious enough to seem to have a social "message."
||H H W |
||Come up with an unfortunate slogan for any real product, service, or organization.
||H W |
||MOTHERS-IN-LAW OF INVENTION
||Propose some drastic change in government to help the economy or otherwise improve the quality of life in America.
||IT'S THE EPONYMY, STUPID
||Coin an eponym, a word or figure of speech based on the name of a famous person. You must define the word, and, if you wish, use it in a sentence.
||H H |
||CASTING ABOUT FOR AN IDEA
||Name a political person (past or present) and the TV or movie role in which he or she could have been cast.
||H I |
||Write a caption for any of these photos.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Those are the answers. What are the questions?
||H H |
||Modernize an old quote or expression by altering its ending.
||Come up with slogans for the 1996 presidential campaign.
||H H |
||A SO-SO CONTEST
||Describe somebody--or something--through exaggerated comparison.
||Rewrite 60-year-old cartoons, filling in your own balloons, to make them funnier and more timely.
||A RECYCLED IDEA THAT WAS NONE TOO GOOD TO BEGIN WITH
||Alter a well-known phrase or name by deleting, adding or changing only one letter, and then supply a definition for what results.
||I AM ADDICTED TO AN ASININE CONTEST…
||Come up with sleazy new topics for the daytime talks.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]