992 Mittsterpiece Theatre Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen. H
618 Of D.C. I Sing Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune. H
599 So What's the News? Tell us what the illustrated events are. H
578 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. H
574 Boor Us Silly Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences. H
573 Thine Ad Goest Here Propose biblical and other literary passages, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement. 3
507 Crocktails Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink. H
474 Alphabettering Create a sentence that uses each letter of the alphabet at least once but that would never be heard on the politically correct, genteel, rarified air of NPR. H
472 Water Stupid Idea Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought. H H
469 Playing Check-In Suggest appropriate hotel check-in names for any celebrities, past or present, living or dead. H
467 Get Your But in Here Produce a line that fits this structure: (Real thing based upon current events) is (word or phrase suggesting some quality) but (other word or phrase suggesting a dissimilar or incompatible quality), like (funny analogy). H
437 The Telegraph Poll Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line. H
422 Taught Language Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page. H H
409 Nice Job, if You Get It Take anything that might need its image enhanced and rename it in a way the keeps its essential identity, but makes it seem nicer. W H
370 No End in Sight Write the beginnings of sentences you don't want to hear the end of. H H
343 Eastwood Ho. Create a Good-Bad-Ugly progression. H H
245 LIKE FUN Complete any of the provided "A is like B because" sentences. H
227 WILD PITCHES Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created to represent it. H
183 COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG II Create hawkers' rhymes for modern-day occupations like lobbyists, lawyers, talk show hosts, actuaries, etc., at a maximum of four lines. It must contain at least one rhyme. 4
177 SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE Tell us what any of the provided sounds are. H
171 ON SECOND THOUGHT Ideas that never got off the drawing board, for good reason. H
154 ENTER LAUGHING Make up a knock-knock joke. The subject of the third line must be something crude, silly, or profound. H
153 STUMP US Complete this sentence, "I should be elected President of the United States because. . ." and launch your campaign. I H
132 GIVE US THE BACKS OFF OUR SHIRTS. What should our loser's T-shirt say on the back? Your goal is to somehow capture the spirit of the contest. 2
128 LIKE, DUH Come up with snappy answers to stupid questions. H 2
123 WHY IS POOP FUNNY? Come up with creative answers to any of the five questions above that might be asked by a 5-year-old. H
122 THE UNKINDEST CUTE OF ALL Come up with a new story line for "Peanuts", some plot development or new character that will put the strip back on the road to relevance. I
118 WEAK 118 Take any photo caption or headline appearing anywhere in today's Post and alter its meaning by adding, deleting, or changing one letter. H
116 WRITE PURE POETRY Write a complete sentence using only the letters contained on the top row of a typewriter. Alternatively, you can use the letters of the first four lines of the standard eye chart. H
108 NEAR MISSES Come up with the first drafts of great lines in history, entertainment or literature. L
104 HERE, DOGGEREL Create poems so bad they thud. The first line must be a name. The second line can be as long or as short as you wish. The third line must sound the same as the first line, using the name as a verb or some other part of speech. H
102 HELP! I'M A PRISONER IN THIS CONTEST Come up with fortune cookie messages that you would love to see, but never will. H
42 HEY, IT COULD BE WORSE There are worse things in life than the Washington Redskins. Just tell us what they are. 4
40 NOT WRONG. JUST INCORRECT. What's next on the political correctness agenda? H
34 INSPECT A GADGET What do these machines do? H H 6
32 FATAL ART ATTACK In 50 words or fewer, describe a performance art concept that might get public funding. Winners will be audacious enough to seem like art, but pretentious enough to seem to have a social "message. 4
29 AD NAUSEAM Come up with an unfortunate slogan for any real product, service, or organization. 3
26 CASTING ABOUT FOR AN IDEA Name a political person (past or present) and the TV or movie role in which he or she could have been cast. 2