PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MICHAEL FRANSELLA

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
877 Quipped from the headlines Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news. H
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. H
830 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. 2 H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." H
799 Send Us the Bill Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together. H
796 Sincerest Flattery Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote. H
785 The Ballad Box Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune. H
784 Words to The Wiseacres Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life. H
767 Questionable Journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer. H
747 Boeing Us Silly Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself. H
739 Lies, All Lies Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure. H
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. H
731 Doo Process Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage. H
725 Beggars For Description Describe, without being boring, a cartoon to fit any of the provided captions. H
721 Know Your Market For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News. H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. 3
702 Unreal Facts Come up with a comically false factoid. H
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
690 Funnies: How Time Flies Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption. 3
675 Cut Us Some Slack Come up with humorous ways to be lazy. 2
650 King Us Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an everyday item. 3
649 Across the Wide What? Give us some Virginia-appropriate lyrics for "Shenandoah." H
629 Odd Couplings Marry or otherwise combine famous names and supply the result. H
628 You Gotta Have Connections Choose any two or more items from the provided truly random list and describe how they are alike or different. H
621 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article in washingtonpost.com anytime through Aug. 8 and supply a question it could answer. H
618 Of D.C. I Sing Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune. H
609 A2D2 Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2. H
605 Truly Stupendous Ideas Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different. 3
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. 3 H
553 Picture This Tell us what's going on in one or more of the provided cartoons. H
523 Hard to Overstate Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be. H
479 Invest Case Scenario Suggest new companies in which it might be unwise to invest. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]