PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DOUG FRANK

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1307 One-for-one for all Replace one letter in an existing word, name or multi-word phrase with one different letter (in the same place in the word) and define or describe the result. H
1197 Picture This -- It's a Bob Staake caption contest Write a caption for any of the cartoons provided. H H
1195 Don't change a letter! Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result. H H H H H I
1185 The Rorschach of the crowd Interpret one of more of the provided genuine inkblots. You may look at them upside down or sideways. H
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H I
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. H H
1139 A little sixty-four play Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii). H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H
1128 Drone for a loop Give us some novel uses for a CICADA micro-drone, assuming that anyone can get one, and that it can have a micro-camera, micro-grips, etc. H
1127 From the creators of … Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue. H
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. 4
1103 Themes good enough for us Suggest an existing song to be used as the theme for a TV series or program for comic effect. H
1100 Pun and ink -- the feghoot Contrive an elaborate scenario that ends in a novel groaner pun on a familiar expression, title, etc. H
1087 The core ridiculum Come up with a comical class (any type of school) and provide a course catalog description. H
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different. H
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. 2 H
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. I
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. H
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. 3 H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H
966 Inkremental change Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name. L
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. 2
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." H
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. H
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. H
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H
911 Help! Create a short humorous dialogue -- or a monologue featuring one party -- of a phone call to 911, or a call for help to someone else. I
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H
895 Picture this Supply a caption for any of these cartoons. W
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. H H
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H
666 Bedevil Us Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. 2 H T
661 Name Any Good Movies Lately? Give us a funny new title for an existing movie. H
658 Not in the Cards Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress. H
654 It Plays to Recycle Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas. H
651 Show Us Some Character Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it. H
650 King Us Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an anyday item. H
648 Caller IDiot Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person. H
644 Winter Limp Picks Brighten up the Winter Olympics with some new events and rule. Alternatively, you can suggest a commercial or ad campaign that could be tied in with the Winter Games or one of its sports. H H
643 The Post's Mortems Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005. T
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H
641 Dreck of All Trades Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it. H H H
640 Whassa Motto Wid You? Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories. H H H
639 What's the Small Idea? Do you have a senseless idea for improving the day-to-day lives of everyday Americans? H H
634 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. T
633 Your Secret Here! Send us some original secrets (they don't have to be true). H
632 Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader (Inc.) Give us an original backronym for a company or product. A backronym is a fake etymology that often gets in a little dig at the subject. H
631 Picture This What's going on in any of these cartoons? H
627 Per-Verse Write a limerick or other short poem with comically awful rhyming. H
626 Course Light Come up with a comical college class, along with a description for the course catalog. H W
625 Haven't Seen It Make up a new plot for an existing movie title. H
624 Limerixicon 2 Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with bd- through bl-. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]