PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JOSH FELDBLYUM

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1305 Hits and Googles Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits. H
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.) Coin a threeword phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. H
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1187 Just drop it, okay? Drop the last letter from an existing word, phrase or name and define the result. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. 4
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. H
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

H
1019 What a turnoff Tell us some creative things that children and families could do during Screen-Free Week. 2 H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition for any of the listed OED words. H
998 Set the law on us Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world. H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. H
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. H
991 Tour de Fours IX Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block V, O, T, and E and define it. H
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. H
906 Your mug here Give us a new design for the Loser Mug. H
784 Words to The Wiseacres Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life. H
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. 4
766 Think to Shudder Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above. H
513 It's Delete We Can Do Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen. 3
462 Cast Away Come up with a terrible bit of miscasting in a movie or TV show, past or present, real or imagined. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]