PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DEAN EVANGELISTA
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Lies, damn lies, with statistics
||Tell us some bogus trivia using "statistics" or some bogus quantitative meaure.
||Celebrating our differences
||Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of them are alike or different or otherwise linked.
||Our Greatest Hit
||Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.
||Clue Us In
||You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid.
||Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact."
||Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product).
||2 H |
||Clue Us In
||Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.
||Top of the Staake
||So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest.
||Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike.
||Come up with a comically false factoid.
||Give Us a Bad Name
||Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one.
||LICENSE TO CARRY A PUN
||Come up with original jokes like those provided.
||Come up with bad ideas for new toys for the Christmas season.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]