PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MARK ECKENWILER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1419 Send us the bill -- 'joint legislation' Combine two or more names from the provided list of the new members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. 2
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1028 Joint Legislation Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". H
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. 3 H H H H
1018 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time. H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H H H W
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H H
923 Chemical Wordfare Create a new chemical element or other chemical term. H H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. 2 M
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H H
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congress to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. 4 H H I
814 There Will Be Bloodline Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. H H H H
813 Aw, Shocks Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not." H M
810 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. 4 H H
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H H H H H
759 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H H
732 The Chain Gang Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush." P
731 Doo Process Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage. I
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H H H
720 The Course of Humor Events Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram. 1 H M
719 We Har the World Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States. H
717 Pitch Us a No-Hitter Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits. L
716 The Hard Spell Write a humorous poem featuring one of the 75 words we've selected from this year's National Spelling Bee. 2
715 Your Mug Here Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt. H
712 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in the results of Week 708, and name THEIR foal. H
711 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the April 29 or May 6 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H H
709 A Return Engagement Come up with some novel change to the tax code: a tax on something ought to be taxed, a credit for something that should be rewarded, what the $3 should go to instead of presidential campaigns, etc. 3 H H M
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H H H H H H H W
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H H H M
700 Stump Us Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign. H H M
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H H
697 We Beg You To Differ Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar. H
696 Send Us the Bill Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together. H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H H
670 A Test of Character Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar. H H L P
669 Huddled Messes Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal). I
668 Cut From the Chase Write an original John-Bunnell-style wrap-up to a crime story -- or one for a more minor transgression. P
666 Bedevil Us Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days. I M
665 Your One-in-a-Million Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
662 How Low Will You Go? Humiliate yourself for ink, and a stupid prize. H M
661 Name Any Good Movies Lately? Give us a funny new title for an existing movie. H H
660 Foaling Down: The Next Generation Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H H H H
659 Tell Us a Fib Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme. H H H
656 It's Post Time Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined. H H H H H H H H H W
655 Laughing Inside Take any article appearing in The Washington Post or online on washingtonpost.com from today through April 3 -- the more serious and/or mundane its headline, the better -- and write a funny poem or other passage using only words that appear in that article. M
643 The Post's Mortems Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005. 3 P
631 Picture This What's going on in any of these cartoons? H H
630 Hyphen the Terrible Combine the beginning and end of any two multisyllabic words in this week's Invitational, and then define the compound. H
620 Keep the Empress Employed Suggest some original, creative ways that The Post could increase its circulation. H H H I T
619 WordCount Us In Write a poem of no more than four lines containing four or more consecutive words on the WordCount list. They must occur in the sentence in the order they appear on the list. H
618 Of D.C. I Sing Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune. H H H
617 Best the Best Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name. H H H
615 Airy Persiflage Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement. T
614 In-Stock Characters Pitch us an idea for a summer movie featuring two or more of the provided characters. H
613 Tour de Fours II Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order. H H H T
612 Oh, and One More Thing What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list? L
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. H L
610 MASH Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. H H
609 A2D2 Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2. 3 L
608 Comeback Next Week Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments. H H H
605 Truly Stupendous Ideas Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different. H H H H W
604 Fun for the Roses Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. H
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
600 Top of the Inking Tell us some ways the District of Columbia will change now that we have the Nationals. H
594 History Loves Company Name an appropriate corporate sponsor for some historical event or for someone's life story. A H H
591 Dead Letters Write rhyming poems about notable personages who have died in the past year. 1 H H
590 Send Us the Bill Come up with a bill sponsored by any combination of the newly elected members of Congress and explain the purpose of the bill. H H
533 Breed Apart Mate the clones of any two famous real people, living or dead--a male and a female, please--and hypothesize what traits or skills their offspring might have. 3
489 Combo, First Blood Combine two people whose names contain a common element, as in the examples above. Then describe the person, or provide a quote he or she might have uttered. H
448 What Kind of Foal Am I? Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races this year and propose a name for their foal. No name may exceed 18 characters, including spaces. H H H H W
379 Rather Unusual Come up with lines that could be uttered by Dan Rather, with his unbearably folksy excesses. 4
378 Bill Us Now Come up with a bill sponsored by any of the newly elected U.S. senators and representatives, and explain the purpose of the bill. 3
376 Apply Yourself Supply bad openings to college application biographies. H
375 Show Us Up Combine the names of two existing TV shows (past or present) to make an entirely new show. Then, describe the show. 3 H H
359 It's No Party Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet. H H H
312 BOOKS AND BOOKS Combine any two works of literature--no movies or TV--into one, give its title and describe it in a brief, appealing blurb that might appear in Publishers' Weekly. H
305 ASK BACKWARDS CMXVI2 You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
281 CALCULATE THE ODDS Tell us which of the two provided items does not belong with the other two, and why. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]