PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR CRAIG DYKSTRA

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1301 Tell us a Fib(onacci) Write a humorous poem of 20 syllables divided among six lines like this: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. And a least two -- any two -- of the lines must rhyme. H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H H
1189 Gee, it's Limerixicon XIII! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ge'". H
1172 Pieces of 'Pie' Write a short passage -- an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything -- using only words that appear in the song "American Pie". H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H H H H
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". 3
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. H
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1084 Limerixicon XI: Fi-, fo-, go! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "Fl-" through "fo-". H H
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). H
1074 Let's go parody-hopping Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical. H
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. H
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H
1070 Colt following -- our grandfoals contest "Breed" any two of the foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H
1069 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem of no more than eight lines -- it doesn't have to rhyme -- using only the top 1,000 words on Wiktionary.org's list of the most common among 20 million words found in movie and TV scripts. H H H
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1043 Rechanneling celebrity Describe a TV reality show featuring a celebrity pursuing some unlikely endeavor. H H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

3 H
1039 Shookespeare Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage. 4 H H W
1037 Outrage us Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc. H M
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". H H H
1030 The cinquain feeling Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two. 3 H
1028 Joint Legiflation Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". 4 H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. H
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. H
1005 Send us the bill Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or more of the 98 new House and Senate members provided. H H
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". 4
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. T
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H H H
968 Take us for grants Come up with a proposal to the National Science Foundation or other research-funding organization for a study based on a stupid hypothesis. H P
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H
966 Inkremental change Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H P
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. 3 I
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. P
957 Fearful Symmetry Write a clever passage who successive words are on letter longer until the middle of the passage, and then become one letter shorter. H I
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H
952 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011. H
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." H H H H
948 Look back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 94 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). 4 H H H H
947 Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it. H
946 Another round of Bierce Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term. H
945 Laugh-baked ideas Cleverly depict a person, event or phenomenon of the 21st century — real history as well as scenes from movies, books, videos, etc. — using edible materials, and send us a photo of your creation. 4 H
944 Uh, yeah, it's just you Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions. H
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H
936 Hoho contendere Slightly alter a well-known foreign-language term and define it. H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. P T
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. H H
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. H
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H H H H
923 Chemical Wordfare Create a new chemical element or other chemical term. H
922 A Banner Week Write entirely new, humorous lyrics to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”; they can be on any subject. 3
921 Give Us Willies Write an original Little Willie poem, perhaps reflecting our current era. This is a venerable four-line genre in which Master W. does some nasty thing and doesn't tend to learn to be a Good Boy by poem's end. 3 H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. H H
917 Wryku Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first lien, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks. H
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. 4 H H T
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H H H
907 Naming rite Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one. 3
906 Your mug here Give us a new design for the Loser Mug. H H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H H H H L
901 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010. H H L
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H H
898 Pre-current events Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011. H H
897 Catch their drift Take any sentence from an article of ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English." H H H H
896 Other people's business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H P
895 Picture this Supply a caption for any of these cartoons. H H
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H H H H H H W
892 Get a move on Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish. P
891 Mirror, Mirror Write a word-palindrome sentence, in which the first and last words are the same; the second and next-to-last, etc. H H
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. H
889 Tour de Fours VII Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters P, O, L and E. H P
888 It's the eponymy, stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence H H H H
887 Plus-Fours Write a limerick whose third or fourth line is one of those listed above. H H H
886 Look both ways Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it. H H H H I T
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." 4 H H H
884 Rekindling the spork Combine two devices or other products to make a new one. H H
883 Same difference Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other. H H H H W
882 Limerixicon VII Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters dr-. H H H H H M M P
881 What's in a name? Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. H H
880 Our greatest hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. 4 H H H
879 Say Venn Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram. 2
878 Safety in blunders Tell us a way to make the nation more secure. H
876 Oilies but goodies Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune. H M
874 Stat Us Write a funny Facebook status line. H
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. I M T
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. H H
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H H H
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H H
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. 2 H H H
868 Count the ways Give us some musings of a technical wonk. H M
867 Back in the saddle Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal. H H T
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H H H
865 No Googlenopes left Come up with a humorous Googlenope. H H H
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. 3 H H H H
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H
862 Be cheerful Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team or any national team. H H H
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. H H H H
860 Ten, Anyone? Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words. H H H
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H
857 All FED Up Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet. P
856 Titled Puerility Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never by published. H
855 The news could be verse Sum up an article (or even an ad!) in any Washington Post print or online edition from Feb. 6 through Feb. 15 in verse. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. 4 H H I
852 Small, Let's get Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. H H H T
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. 2 H H
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H H H H H H P T
848 Up and addin' Compose a humorous rhopalic sentence (or multiple sentences) in which each word is one letter longer than the previous word. H M
846 Season's gratings Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction. 4
845 Reologisms Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. H
844 Healthy choice Enter any Style Invitational from Week 790 through Week 840, except for Week 793 and Week 798. H H
843 Prefrains Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song. H H
842 Ask backwards Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. H H
840 Frittering away the neurons Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form. 3 H H H M
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. 4 H H H H
838 Picture This Provide a caption for any of these pictures. H
837 Strip Search Combine two comic strips that appear in The Washington Post or at washingtonpost.com/comics and describe the results. W
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H T
835 Tour de Fours VI Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E. 2 H H
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H H H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. H H
830 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. A H H H
829 Limerixicon 6 Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters di-. H H
828 Inhuman Puns Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it. H H H H W
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H H H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H L
821 Spit the Difference How are any of the items on the list above alike or different? 4 H
820 Be Mister Language Person Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer. H
818 Name the Day Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan. H H H H H
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. H H H
816 Googillions Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search. H
815 Wittecisms Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, and I, two T's and an E. 3 H H H
810 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]