PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DAN DUNN
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||Ripped Off From the Headlines
||Send us some Onion-type headlines.
||Type a two-word phrase into the Google search engine that produces exactly one result.
||Create a sillygism--a syllogism that doesn't quite work.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Mate any two of the horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown and tell us the name of their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.
||Unamazing But True!
||Submit a true fact that is of absolutely no use, but interesting in a weirdly Invitationalist way.
||Eyes on Reprise
||Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed.
||Describe how things might have been different if a famous person, living or dead, had had one of the provided conditions.
||Come up with statements that start really dramatically, but leave you sorta flat at the end.
||2 H |
||Nice Job, if You Get It
||Take anything that might need its image enhanced and rename it in a way the keeps its essential identity, but makes it seem nicer.
||H H |
||What's In a Name?
||Take the name of any politician, living or dead, and construct an appropriate message from the letters of the name. You may use any letter as many times as you wish, and you may insert punctuation.
||IF YOU BOYCOTT THIS TASK / YOU WON'T WIN THE FLASK
||Come up with rhyming couplets to warn us about the perils of modern life.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]