PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BILL DORNER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1300 Botch office sensations Add "13" to an existing movie title, and some humorous trouble to the plot. H H
1299 OK, hivemind! A contest with new Scrabble words Choose any two of the words in the provided list as the beginning and end of a humorous word chain of 6 to 14 words or phrases. H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H
1294 As the word turns “Discover” a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters — in any direction or several directions — in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1285 That is so wrong! Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer and a cleverly "wrong" guess. H
1282 Picture This Write a caption for one or more of the provided pictures. H H
1281 We only have (googly) eyes for you Send us a photo of something that you have made funny by pasting googly eyes on it; funny titles and captions are optional. M
1279 Just do it -- the 'real' way List some "accurate" directions for using some product or completing some tak. H M
1277 Come into Beeing with neologisms From any of the 15 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term of one or two words and define it humorously. You may also supply an especially clever or funny definition of a real term. H H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. 4
1267 Jingle bungle Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle. H H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H H
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. 3
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1231 TankaWanka 3: Haiku Plus Tu Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And at least two of the lines must rhyme. H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
1220 O pedantry, O pedantry Give us some humorous pedantry. H
1213 Punku Write a haiku that incorporates a pun. H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H H
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. 4
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]