PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ROBIN DIALLO
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- I: Idea for Contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Band on the pun
||Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way.
||It's like this, see
||Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels.
||I P |
||Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.
||Come up with a comically false factoid.
||Take Her Words for It
||Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation.
||Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country.
||A Running Gag
||Explain how any of the provided bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign.
||Take any word, alter it in three ways--by adding a letter, by subtracting a letter and by changing a letter--and redefine all three new words.
||United We Stanza
||Summarize in four rhyming lines of verse any famous document, theory, principle or speech.
||Doody and Muldoon
||Write poetry that out-Muldoons Paul Muldoon, the Princeton professor who won this year's Pulitzer Prize in poetry. Your poem must be a single quatrain, containing at least one rhyme and references to at least two body parts and one geographic name.
||Look at any of the abbreviated company names in the Nasdaq or New York Stock Exchange listings in any newspaper's business section and suggest what business the companies might be in.
||Haiku 2 U2
||Write a haiku summarizing the career of any American politician, living or dead. A haiku is generally defined as a nonrhyming poem, of three lines. The first and last lines are five syllables; the middle line is seven.
||The Telegraph Poll
||Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]