PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR CHERYL DAVIS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1297 A different type o' headline contest Change a letter in an article or ad in the Post or another publication dated Sept. 13-24 by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting a letter; transposing two letters; or changing spacing or punctuation; and then add a "bank head." P
1288 Your resukts may vary Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service. H
1254 Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another. P
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. P
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" P
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle P
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. P
1129 Right in the pampootie Write a humorous short poem (eight lines or fewer) incorporating one of the 50 provided words. P
1113 Our occasional parodies Write a song celebrating someone's birthday or other personal occasion (rather than, say, a holiday), set to a familiar tune. P
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. P
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. P
1095 TankaWanka! Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. P
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. P
1088 Ask backwards with our answers, your questions Supply the questions to as many of the 16 supplies answers as you like. H H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. P
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. P
1069 It's a small, small world Write a humorous poem of no more than eight lines -- it doesn't have to rhyme -- using only the top 1,000 words on Wiktionary.org's list of the most common among 20 million words found in movie and TV scripts. P
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. P
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. H H
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. P
1003 Just do it Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect. H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. H
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. P
954 Bring on the 'fight' jokes Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.” P
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H
920 Sarchiasm Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect. P
915 Picture this Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here. P
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. P
902 What's the good news? Take any sentence, or substantive part of a sentence, or a headline from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Jan. 7 to Jan. 18 and make it sound upbeat (or not so bad). P
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. P
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. 2 H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. P
849 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it. H
846 Season's gratings Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction. P
842 Ask backwards Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please. P
840 Frittering away the neurons Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form. P
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. P
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. P
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. H
756 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
714 Amalgamated Steal Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product. H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. H
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
672 Just Sign This Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign. H
664 A Thousand Times?! No! Come up with a new signature line for Russell Beland's -- or anyone else's -- e-mails. H
640 Whassa Motto Wid You? Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories. I
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add on letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H
598 Site Gags Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution. H
391 Spinning Out of Control Take an headline in today's Washington Post and create a subhead that spins the story in an opposite or unexpected direction. H
342 Plainly Ridiculous Take any direct quotation from any article in today's Washington Post and translate it into "plain English." H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]