This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know,

Key to Ink Types:

1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1271 Yodel Doyle's praises with a D-O-Y-L-E neologism Coin a new word or phrase that contains the letters D, O, Y, L and E. 4
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1245 Call us reprehensible … Complain in a humorously missing-the-point way about something that has appeared in The Washington Post (in print or online) recently, or in another publication. H
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1237 Our alliteracy campaign Rewrite an existing headline from any  publication, print or online — about something in the  news from July 20 to 31, by using alliteration. H
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. H
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. M
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1211 The best tweets in history Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional. H
1204 Well, at least … Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration. H H
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. H
1197 Picture This -- It's a Bob Staake caption contest Write a caption for any of the cartoons provided. H H H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H
1152 Oops? You do it again. Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1098 through Week 1148, except for Week 1101, last year's do-over. H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H
1143 Ask Backwards Provided are 15 answers, separated by asterisks. You supply the questions. H
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1135 The meter's running Suggest actions in daily life that should require a time limit -- maximum or minimum -- and come with an appropriate penalty for running over (or under). H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1127 From the creators of … Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue. H
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. 3
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. L
1115 Our type o' headline Change a headline in an article or ad in the Washington Post and then add a "bank head" or subtitle. H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. H H
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". H
1088 Ask backwards with our answers, your questions Supply the questions to as many of the 16 supplies answers as you like. H
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at and say how they are alike or different. 3 H
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1057 Sportin' lie Give us some fake sports trivia. H
1053 Questionable journalism Quote an actual sentence, from The Washington Post,, or another print or online publication dated between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6, and follow it with a question that the sentence might answer. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H
948 Look back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 94 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. H
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. 3
861 It's incumbent upon us Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest. H
852 Small, Let's get Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. H
848 Up and addin' Compose a humorous rhopalic sentence (or multiple sentences) in which each word is one letter longer than the previous word. H
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
835 Tour de Fours VI Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. H
819 Art Re-View These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they? H
804 Our Type o' Joke Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it. H
797 Be Resolute Make a humorous resolution for some particular person or institution to accomplish next year. H
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
787 Tour de Fours V Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters M, N and E. H
776 An Act of Sunny Side Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events. H
774 Tour De Forks Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it. 2
764 Can You Up Chuck? Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris Facts. H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H
756 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
755 Take Another 'Whack Send us a phrase of two or more words that produces exactly one Web page on the Google search engine and describe the phrase. H
745 Hurry Up and Slow Down! Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up. H
743 Picture This Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons. W
723 Name Your Poison Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served. H
720 The Course of Humor Events Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram. H
688 Making Short Work Write a humorous six-word story. H
684 Backtricking Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word. H
680 Rendered Speechless Provide dialogue to fill the balloons in any of these cartoons. H
679 Ask Backwards Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare. H
677 The News Gets Verse Sum up wittily in verse -- but not a limerick -- any article appearing in The Post or on from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4. H H
648 Caller IDiot Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person. H H
628 You Gotta Have Connections Choose any two or more items from the provided truly random list and describe how they are alike or different. H
612 Oh, and One More Thing What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list? H
608 Comeback Next Week Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments. W
588 Gadget If You Can Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are. 2 H
578 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. H
567 A Running Gag Explain how any of the provided bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign. H
548 Inklings Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies. H
528 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
520 I, Object These items were ordered by well-known people. Who ordered them, and why? H
517 Insert Joke Here Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter. H
511 It All Impends Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons. H H
481 Homonymphomania Create a new homonym of any existing word, and define. The new word must be spelled in such a way that is obviously pronounced identically to the original word. H
468 Ism This Stupid? Take any common prefix and attach it to any well-known "ism" and define the new term. H
464 Cursive Writing Come up with a new curse for this millennium. H
454 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? H
445 Another Round of Bierce Add a few entries to Ambrose Bierce's famous "Devil's Dictionary." H
437 The Telegraph Poll Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line. H
406 Bum Steerage Offer some spectacularly bad advice to any of the provided people. H
388 Pitches in the Dirt Come up with a sales pitch to get any surplus product off the shelves. H
379 Rather Unusual Come up with lines that could be uttered by Dan Rather, with his unbearably folksy excesses. H
363 It's Your Movie Take the title of any movie and make it the answer to a riddle. H
351 Dubya Fun Take any well-known statement, expression, slogan, etc., and rewrite it the way Dubya might have said it. H H


Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"


"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.

[still working on this ...]