PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MIKE CREVELING
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||It's parody time: Oldies for newsies
||Write some song lyrics about something in the news these days, set to a familiar tune.
||C'mon, fess up!
||Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding.
||Call us reprehensible …
||Complain in a humorously missing-the-point way about something that has appeared in The Washington Post (in print or online) recently, or in another publication.
||The Loser Community gets a week off (actually two) from writing contest entries and will have to find something else to do during staff meetings, sermons, romantic breakups, etc.
||The alternaugural address
|| Write a humorous passage — a “quote,” an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything — using only words that appear in Trump’s inaugural address.
||Don't change a letter!
|| Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result.
||So what's to liken?
||Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way.
||It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours
||Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition.
||H H |
||Breed 'em and weep
||Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names.
||A pair of threes
||Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- — see the links at bit.ly/abbrevs-e-h — and say how they are alike or different.
||We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question.
||Bring up the rear
||Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]