||Someone else's business
||Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for.
||The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux'
||Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result.
||Show your resolve
||Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future.
||Falsity is Job One
||Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff.
||H H |
||The ands have it
||Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it.
||H H |
||Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different.
||Less taste, more fill-in
||Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down.
||Foaling Down: The Next Generation
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal.
||It Plays to Recycle
||Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas.
||Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader (Inc.)
||Give us an original backronym for a company or product. A backronym is a fake etymology that often gets in a little dig at the subject.
||What's going on in any of these cartoons?
||Hyphen the Terrible
||Combine the beginning and end of any two multisyllabic words in this week's Invitational, and then define the compound.
||Marry or otherwise combine famous names and supply the result.
||Best the Best
||Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name.
||Oh, and One More Thing
||What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?
||H H |
||Contest Fodder Created!
||Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events.
||The News Could be Verse
||Translate the fine prose of Washington Post articles into verse. Choose any article appearing in The Post of on its Web site from April 17 through April 25.
||Truly Stupendous Ideas
||Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different.
||Take one or two of the 50 chapters of the KJV Book of Genesis and draw thou from them, using words in the order in which they appear in the original, your own passage.
||Take a Letter -- Again
||Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.
||Take Her Words for It
||Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation.
||Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!)
||Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it.
||Take any real book or movie, change one word slightly, and describe the resulting new product.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]