PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JEFFREY CONTOMPASIS

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1303 Neologisms to di- for Replace a digraph in an existing word or phrase with another digraph to make a new term. I
1300 Botch office sensations Add "13" to an existing movie title, and some humorous trouble to the plot. H H
1299 OK, hivemind! A contest with new Scrabble words Choose any two of the words in the provided list as the beginning and end of a humorous word chain of 6 to 14 words or phrases. H
1298 It's IGH time for 3-word phrases Make up some entity that might take a three-letter abbreviation of GHI, HGI, GGG, GHH, etc., and then humorously describe it. H H
1297 A different type o' headline contest Change a letter in an article or ad in the Post or another publication dated Sept. 13-24 by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting a letter; transposing two letters; or changing spacing or punctuation; and then add a "bank head." 3 H H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H
1293 Constitutional unconvention Humorously translate or explain some part of the U.S. Constitution. H
1291 Film flam -- movie anagrams Rearrange the letters of a title of a movie or play to make a new title, then describe the new work. H
1288 Your resukts may vary Write a funny disclaimer or warning for some product or service. H
1286 Mind your P's and B's (and more) Replace one or more P's in a word, name, or multi-word term with a B or with another letter and define or describe the results. H M
1285 That is so wrong! Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer and a cleverly "wrong" guess. H
1284 Same difference Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. H
1282 Picture This Write a caption for one or more of the provided pictures. H
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. 4 H
1278 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 68 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names, in the style of today's inking entries. H
1277 Come into Beeing with neologisms From any of the 15 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term of one or two words and define it humorously. You may also supply an especially clever or funny definition of a real term. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H H
1273 Restocking the Cabinet Explain why a particular person -- or thing -- ought to fill a Cabinet post or other U.S. government position. H
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
P
1268 Playing pinocchio Tell us some humorously bogus trivia about the news media or the publishing or broadcasting industries. H H I
1266 The Tile Invitational V Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the sets and define it. H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. M
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H H I
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H T
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H P
1246 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or another publication, in print or online, dated Sept. 21-Oct. 2, and pair it with a question it might answer. H
1245 Call us reprehensible … Complain in a humorously missing-the-point way about something that has appeared in The Washington Post (in print or online) recently, or in another publication. H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H H H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. H
1241 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1238 D-E-F Comedy Jam (or E-D-F, etc.)  Coin a three­word phrase (you may add an insignificant word or two)  whose words begin with D, E and F — in any order — and describe it. 4 T
1237 Our alliteracy campaign Rewrite an existing headline from any  publication, print or online — about something in the  news from July 20 to 31, by using alliteration. 2 W
1236 Portmanteaux faux Explain--inaccurately but amusingly--how a real word is a combination of two or more words, with an illustrative sentence, as in the provided examples, or some other funny way. P
1235 The Sound of Science Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune. H M
1234 It's incontestable Four weeks from now, the Empress will have just placed  her dainty imperial toe back on our glittering shores.  Which means that for the first time since January 2002,  almost 800 contests ago — back during the late reign of  her predecessor, the Czar — the Invitational will skip two  contests in a row. H H
1232 Picture this -- a caption contest Write a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. H H H T
1231 TankaWanka 3: Haiku Plus Tu Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And at least two of the lines must rhyme. H T
1226 Colt following: The 'grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 61 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents names. P
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. H
1223 Post again out to mislead public! Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24. H H H H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. T
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H T
1216 As the word turns Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H H
1215 A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) Write a humorous exaggeration in the form "x is so y that …" H
1213 Punku Write a haiku that incorporates a pun. M
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H H M
1211 The best tweets in history Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional. M
1210 Send us the bill: Our 'joint legislation' game Combine two or more names from the provided list of members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1209 Invented facts: A fictoid contest Tell us a humorously untrue account of how a product or invention came to be, or got its name. H
1208 A RIP-roaring year: Obit poems Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2016. H
1206 Do-over the do-over -- enter any of the year's contests Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1202, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1205 Could we just have a do-over? Yes, we could. Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1201, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. 3 H H H
1204 Well, at least … Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration. H M
1203 You've got the powers Tell us what you would do if you had one or more of the six magical powers provided. H
1199 We want some bad choices Offer one or more funny Questions for Terrible People, as shown. H H H
1198 Give it to us straight Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication dated Oct. 20 to Oct. 31 — or from an online article dated within that period — and translate it into “plain English,” H H L
1196 Hyphen the Terrible Combine either half of a hyphenated word or compound term with either half of another such term to create a new hyphenated term, and describe the result humorously. 3 H H H W
1194 Nyetymologies: fake word origins Provide a humorously untrue explanation for the derivation of a word. H W
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  H W
1190 You're workin' on a chain, gang Create a chain of no more than 15 proper nouns — names of people (real or fictional), products, places, etc. — including one title of a work — in which each 2 H
1184 Plan C -- a third candidate? Explain why some novel person (or thing) should be president; you could also suggest a president-veep ticket. 3
1183 C'mon, be honest with us Write something in roughly the form "If X were more honest, (then) Y. H H I P
1182 Where in the wor(l)d? (1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there. H
1180 Strip search! Find a line of text from any comic strip or panel that appears on the Post's comics pages or on washingtonpost.com/comics, dated anywhere between June 16 and June 27, and either (a) supply a question that the original line could answer, or (b) follow it with your own line of dialogue or reply. H M
1179 Blasted alphabetical contests . . . Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C -- in any order -- and describe it. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1175 Good luck with 13 Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 13, and define it. H H H T
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. H H
1170 Derby or not Derby "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both names. H H H
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H P
1168 Asterisky business Tell us an original joke whose punchline can't be understood without knowledge -- not necessarily scientific -- that most of us don't have (which you'll supply with a concise explanation). H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H P
1166 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in text (not a headline) in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated March 10-21 and make up a question that the sentence could answer H
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. M
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. 4 H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. H H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. H
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. W
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H
1153 Be three-paired Choose two or more entities represented by a single three-letter combination from IAA through LZZ, found at the provided link, and say how they are alike or different or have some connection. 3 H H H
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. 2
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. H
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H
1147 It's E-Z find-a-word -- yours Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H H
1143 Ask Backwards Provided are 15 answers, separated by asterisks. You supply the questions. H H H
1142 Two-faced tweets Combine two well-known names into a Twitter handle, and write a tweet (no more than 140 characters and spaces) that that portmanteau person might write. H
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H H T
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. I
1139 A little sixty-four play Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii). H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H H T
1135 The meter's running Suggest actions in daily life that should require a time limit -- maximum or minimum -- and come with an appropriate penalty for running over (or under). T
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H H
1132 You and what army? Military fictoids Give us some comically bogus trivia about the military, past or present, ours or theirs. H H I L M
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. H H
1128 Drone for a loop Give us some novel uses for a CICADA micro-drone, assuming that anyone can get one, and that it can have a micro-camera, micro-grips, etc. M
1127 From the creators of … Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description of bit of dialogue. H H I
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H H
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. H T
1123 The Tile Invitational III Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets. 3
1121 The an(n)als of civilization Briefly describe some "bad day in history" -- you may be creative in what you classify as such -- and sum it up with a humorous heading. H H H
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked. H
1119 We want hue so bad Invent a name for a color and describe it. H
1116 Punning in place Create a new term using only the letters in a place name. You don't have to use all the letters, but you can't use a letter more often than it appears in the word. H
1115 Our type o' headline Change a headline in an article or ad in the Washington Post and then add a "bank head" or subtitle. H
1113 Our occasional parodies Write a song celebrating someone's birthday or other personal occasion (rather than, say, a holiday), set to a familiar tune. H H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H
1109 Fictoids of Columbia Tell us some humorously untrue “facts” about Washington, D.C., and the surrounding area. 2 M
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H
1106 Show your resolve Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future. H M
1105 A lit obit of fun Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2014. H M
1103 Themes good enough for us Suggest an existing song to be used as the theme for a TV series or program for comic effect. H I
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. 4
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. H H H
1100 Pun and ink -- the feghoot Contrive an elaborate scenario that ends in a novel groaner pun on a familiar expression, title, etc. H H T
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". P
1096 Picture this Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoon. H
1095 TankaWanka! Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H T
1094 TAXI's the fare for Tour de Fours XI Coin a word or hyphenated term that contains the letter block T-A-X-I; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1093 You're only as rich as you fee What are some really bad ideas for various businesses to make a few more bucks? H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. M
1089 It's E-Z Find-a-Word -- your own! Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H H
1087 The core ridiculum Come up with a comical class (any type of school) and provide a course catalog description. H H
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
H
1085 Eww-venirs: Ideas for gift shops Suggest a humorous--but NOT horribly tasteless--tchotchke, T-shirt, etc., from a real or imagined gift shop at a particular tourist site. H H H
1083 Everybody get appy Offer up an idea for either a humorously useful app or a humorously counterproductive one. 4
1082 Band on the pun Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way. H H M
1081 It's the stupidity, stupid Write us stupid questions that will make us laugh. H H T
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. M T T
1078 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of any hyphenated word or compound term with one side of another word to make a new hyphenated term, and define it humorously. Both halves must appear in the same issue of The Post or another print newspaper, or in writing published the same day on washingtonpost.com or another online publication. H T
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). 2 H H T
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. H
1075 Falsity is Job One Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff. H I
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. H H
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H I M P
1071 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination at bit.ly/3letterabs and say how they are alike or different. H H M
1068 An iffy proposition Suggest some humorous action that you would take if you were in someone's position, more or less in the form "If I were _____ my first act would be _____." H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. H H H
1063 Same difference Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different. 4 H H
1061 Less taste, more fill-in Give us a novel clue for any word or phrase in which the remaining letters in the provided crossword puzzle fit, across or down. H W
1060 Picture this Write a caption, or captions, for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. H
1057 Sportin' lie Give us some fake sports trivia. 2
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. H H
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase of name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. H H
1054 Dead letters Write a short, humorous poem commemorating someone (or maybe even something) who died in 2013. M
1053 Questionable journalism Quote an actual sentence, from The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com, or another print or online publication dated between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6, and follow it with a question that the sentence might answer. 4 H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H H
1051 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news. H M
1050 Just redo it Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046. H H H H
1049 Be rating Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. H I
1046 Derive us crazy Offer a bogus but funny explanation of how a particular expression originated. H H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. 3 H
1044 Play it safe Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere. M
1043 Rechanneling celebrity Describe a TV reality show featuring a celebrity pursuing some unlikely endeavor. H T
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H H T
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. 2 H H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

M
1039 Shookespeare Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage. H
1035 The Empy 500 Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. H H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1031 The 'Sty'le Invitational Choose any word, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word. H H H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. 2 H H H
1026 'Might' makes ink Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates. H
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. H
1022 What's the diff? Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different. T
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H H H I M
1020 Colt following Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal. H H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H H
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. H
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. T
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H H
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. L
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1006 It's a ... a ... Create a new superhero (or due) and describe the superpower, or not-very-superpower. H
1004 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. H
1003 Just do it Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect. H H
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. H H M
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H H P T W
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H
998 Set the law on us Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world. H M T
997 Unworthy causes Name a dubious charity and describe its mission. H H T
995 Ask backwards We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question. 4
994 Stick it to us Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013. H
992 Mittsterpiece Theatre Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen. H
990 Indecent relations Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair. H
988 A faster break Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting. H P
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H H H T
985 What art art thou? Tell us which Style Invitational contest any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons might be illustrating. T
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". T
982 The parody line Set your own, humorous words to the tune of a well-known song--except that you must preserve one of the original lines. H H
981 Feeling testy Write a question that "ought to" be on a qualifying test for a particular job. H T
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H H M
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. H T
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H H
969 Colt following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. H I
966 Inkremental change Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H
964 The Grossery Bag? Suggest a design and/or slogan to go on the side of the ardently desired Style Invitational Loser Bag. M
963 The overlap dance Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way. H
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. H M
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. H H
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. 3 H H
956 Give us some bad ideas Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases. H H
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H H M
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H H H M P
952 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011. H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." H H I
948 Look back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 94 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year). H H
947 Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it. 3 H
946 Another round of Bierce Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term. H
945 Laugh-baked ideas Cleverly depict a person, event or phenomenon of the 21st century — real history as well as scenes from movies, books, videos, etc. — using edible materials, and send us a photo of your creation. H
944 Uh, yeah, it's just you Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions. H H I
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. 4 T
942 Singular ideas Give us an idea for a contest for which there's likely only one good entry. H
940 Our type o' headline Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead). H M
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H M T
935 The 400 blows Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event. N
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H H H
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. H H P
930 We WANT stupid complaints! Complain comically unreasonably about some innocuous thing appearing in the print Post or on washingtonpost.com over the next week or the previous few days. 2 L
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H
926 Outrageous fortunes Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see. H
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. 3 H
923 Chemical Wordfare Create a new chemical element or other chemical term. H I M
922 A Banner Week Write entirely new, humorous lyrics to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”; they can be on any subject. M
921 Give Us Willies Write an original Little Willie poem, perhaps reflecting our current era. This is a venerable four-line genre in which Master W. does some nasty thing and doesn't tend to learn to be a Good Boy by poem's end. H M
920 Sarchiasm Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect. H
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. H H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H
917 Wryku Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first lien, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks. H
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H H
915 Picture this Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here. T
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. 3 H H T
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. H
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H H
911 Help! Create a short humorous dialogue -- or a monologue featuring one party -- of a phone call to 911, or a call for help to someone else. 2 H M
910 Your ad here Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it. H
909 Reprizing Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination. P
907 Naming rite Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one. H
906 Your mug here Give us a new design for the Loser Mug. 2
905 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote responding to one of these past Editor's Query topics. H P P
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. 3 H M
901 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010. M
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. M
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H H H
897 Catch their drift Take any sentence from an article of ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English." H H M
896 Other people's business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H H H
895 Picture this Supply a caption for any of these cartoons. H
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H H H
893 Give us a hint Write a humorously witty story in 25 words or fewer. W
892 Get a move on Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish. H H M
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. H
888 It's the eponymy, stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence H H H H W
886 Look both ways Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it. 2 H H
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." H H H
884 Rekindling the spork Combine two devices or other products to make a new one. H T
883 Same difference Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other. H
881 What's in a name? Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. H
880 Our greatest hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H T
879 Say Venn Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram. H H
878 Safety in blunders Tell us a way to make the nation more secure. T
877 Quipped from the headlines Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news. H
876 Oilies but goodies Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune. P
875 Fail Us Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage. H H I
874 Stat Us Write a funny Facebook status line. 3 H M
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. H H H H
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. H M
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H I
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H
869 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H H
868 Count the ways Give us some musings of a technical wonk. H H W
867 Back in the saddle Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal. H H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H H
865 No Googlenopes left Come up with a humorous Googlenope. H H
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. H H M
863 It's Post time Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. 4 H T
862 Be cheerful Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team or any national team. H
859 Can't goods Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above. H H
857 All FED Up Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet. 3 H H
856 Titled Puerility Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never by published. W
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. T
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. M
852 Small, Let's get Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. W
851 Going to the shrink Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it. H
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. H H
847 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from Dec. 11 through Dec. 21 and come up with a question it might answer. 3 H P
846 Season's gratings Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction. M
845 Reologisms Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. H T
844 Healthy choice Enter any Style Invitational from Week 790 through Week 840, except for Week 793 and Week 798. H
842 Ask backwards Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please. H
841 Food for naught Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result. P T
840 Frittering away the neurons Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form. L
839 Overlap Dance Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D. H
838 Picture This Provide a caption for any of these pictures. 4
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H H
835 Tour de Fours VI Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E. H
834 Fractured Compounds Combine two full words within any single article appearing in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com into a hyphenated compound word, and define or otherwise describe the result. H H
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. 4 H H H H
831 A Big To-Do Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character. H T
830 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H
825 Disinstrumentals Write some words to music that has no words. H T
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. H
822 For Real Folks Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife. H H
820 Be Mister Language Person Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer. H H I M
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. H
812 Rx-Related Humor Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact." H
811 Rock-Bottom Lines Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse. H
810 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
809 Unkindest Cutlines Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos. H
807 Pretty Graphic Expressions Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. T
804 Our Type o' Joke Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it. H
803 The Pepys Show Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history. H T
802 Dreck TV Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming. H
798 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008. H
796 Sincerest Flattery Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote. L
795 Stimulate Us Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on. H
794 Ripped Off From the Headlines Send us some Onion-type headlines. H H
785 The Ballad Box Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune. H
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. H
776 An Act of Sunny Side Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events. 2
772 Make It Simile, Stupid Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. 3
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H
739 Lies, All Lies Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure. H
722 Let's Play Nopardy! We supply 12 phrases and you get to provide questions they might answer. The phrases were entries in our Week 717 contest, which asked for Googlenopes -- phrases that showed no previous hits from the Google search engine. H
719 We Har the World Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States. H
718 Put Our Heads Together Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com) P
717 Pitch Us a No-Hitter Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits. H
713 Painings Name and interpret any of the provided paintings by Fred Dawson. 2
702 Unreal Facts Come up with a comically false factoid. H
697 We Beg You To Differ Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar. H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H
638 The Little Bummer Boy Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis. H
577 Teledubbies Slightly change the title of a TV show, past or present, and describe it. H
558 Set Us Right Send us conservative-leaning humor is any of the provided genres. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]