PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR EDMUND CONTI

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1393 Second chance (acned conches?) for anagrams Describe any of the provided anagram businesses, or offer its slogan. W
1391 No-covid zone -- a neologism contest Coin a new word or phrase that lacks C, O, V, I and D and describe it. H
1255 Tour de Fours XIV: SANT is coming Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter-block S-A-N-T; the letters may be in any order, but there may be no other letters between them. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. H
1230 What in creation . . . ? Supply a brief monologue or dialogue about a Creator's specifications or planning for some living being. H
1211 The best tweets in history Write a stupidly disparaging tweet (140 characters or fewer, including spaces) about some laudable figure of past or present, true or fictional. H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H
1133 Are 'hew ready? A contest for clerihews A clerihew is a humorous four-line rhyming poem about a person whose name is mentioned in the first line; in fact, the name must be at the end of that line (or constitute the whole line) so that it has to rhyme with something. The rhyme structure (and we don't want "lazy" rhymes) is AABB: the first line rhymes with the second, the third with the fourth. H
1131 One man's trash Suggest a humorous way to reuse one or more of the items listed above -- or anything else advertised on RepurposedMaterialsinc.com. H
1129 Right in the pampootie Write a humorous short poem (eight lines or fewer) incorporating one of the 50 provided words. H
1125 The song remains the sa Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it. H
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of them are alike or different or otherwise linked. H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H H
1110 The mama of all humor Write a [Someone’s] Mama joke for some well-known figure, past or present, real or fictional. H
1108 Hearts of dorkness Write a humorous Valentine's Day sentiment to someone (or to some organization), either real or fictional -- either from you or from someone else you name. Plus an all-new option: We'll also be willing to run at least one really funny, clever, well-executed graphic. H
1104 A pair of threes Choose two or three entities represented by a single three-letter combination beginning with E- through H- — see the links at bit.ly/abbrevs-e-h — and say how they are alike or different. H
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. H
1089 It's E-Z Find-a-Word -- your own! Create a word or multi-word term that consists of adjacent letters -- in any direction or several directions -- in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1078 Hyphen the Terrible Combine one side of any hyphenated word or compound term with one side of another word to make a new hyphenated term, and define it humorously. Both halves must appear in the same issue of The Post or another print newspaper, or in writing published the same day on washingtonpost.com or another online publication. H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. H
1056 Weather or nuts Coin a term relating to the weather, climate, etc. -- either literal or figurative -- and define it. H
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. H
1049 Be rating Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. H
1044 Play it safe Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H
1040 IRS my case Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes.

Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person past or present might like to take.

Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.

W
1038 It's like this, see Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels. H
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." 2
1032 Hid stuff Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer. H
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. L
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. H
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. H H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. H
1007 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. 2 H
1002 Wring out the OED Make up a false definition for any of the listed OED words. H
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H H
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H
966 Inkremental change Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name. H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." W
947 Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it. H
940 Our type o' headline Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead). H
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H
937 Staake it to him Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books. H
935 The 400 blows Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event. 3
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. H
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. H
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H L
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H
924 Doomed to repeat it Create "Unreal Facts" about history. H
921 Give Us Willies Write an original Little Willie poem, perhaps reflecting our current era. This is a venerable four-line genre in which Master W. does some nasty thing and doesn't tend to learn to be a Good Boy by poem's end. H
920 Sarchiasm Write an original chiasmus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect. H
918 Colt Following Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results. H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. H
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H
910 Your ad here Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it. H
909 Reprizing Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination. H
906 Your mug here Give us a new design for the Loser Mug. W
905 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote responding to one of these past Editor's Query topics. H
903 Bill us now Combine the names of two or more members of Congress as co-sponsors of a bill. H
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
896 Other people's business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H
892 Get a move on Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish. H
889 Tour de Fours VII Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters P, O, L and E. H H
888 It's the eponymy, stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence H
887 Plus-Fours Write a limerick whose third or fourth line is one of those listed above. H
886 Look both ways Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it. H
882 Limerixicon VII Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters dr-. H
881 What's in a name? Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. 3 H H
880 Our greatest hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H H
878 Safety in blunders Tell us a way to make the nation more secure. H
876 Oilies but goodies Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune. H
875 Fail Us Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage. H
873 Back to Square 1A Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously. H
868 Count the ways Give us some musings of a technical wonk. H
867 Back in the saddle Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal. H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H
864 Oonerspisms Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term. H
860 Ten, Anyone? Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words. H
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. H
853 It's easy as DEF Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward. 2
851 Going to the shrink Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it. 4 H
845 Reologisms Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. H
782 That's the Ticket! Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States. H
759 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal. H
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
735 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731. H
734 Turnaround Time Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other. I
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. H
728 Tour de Fours IV Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]