PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MARNI PENNING COLEMAN
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
- I: Idea for Contest.
||"Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names.
||Give us a "then/now" joke.
||The Sound of Science
||Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune.
||Picture this -- a caption contest
||Write a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons.
||Cast your Bred upon us
||Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately.
||The Tile Invitational IV
|| Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it.
||Invented facts: A fictoid contest
||Tell us a humorously untrue account of how a product or invention came to be, or got its name.
||2 H H |
||Give it to us straight
||Take any sentence from an article or ad in any publication dated Oct. 20 to Oct. 31 — or from an online article dated within that period — and translate it into “plain English".
||Where in the wor(l)d?
||(1) On What3words.com, find one or more humorously appropriate (or ironic) three-word codes at a particular place; or 2) find a three-word code, tell us where it is, and tell us what ought to be there.
||So what's to liken?
||Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect them some other way.
||Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in text (not a headline) in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated March 10-21 and make up a question that the sentence could answer
||Put it in reverse
||Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original.
||You're giving us a bad name
||Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note its original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for.
||A little sixty-four play
||Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii).
||Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase
||Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it.
||H H H |
||The song remains the sa
||Supply a real song title that has the end or beginning -- or, what the heck, both -- chopped off and describe it.
||Breed 'em and weep
||Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names.
||Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons.
||Little piddle riddle
||Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme.
||With parens like these …
||Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way.
||H H |
||You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like.
||Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage.
||A Test of Character
||Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]